It's been 5 months, old friend...

Just realised that I have neglected my blog for a full 5 months... that's almost half a year... I blame it on Facebook which I log on religiously on an almost daily basis. 

It's not as if I've nothing to blog about. At times when something inspired me to write an entry, I'll try to organise the ideas in my mind but something else always take precedence...  

It seems this year, I'm revamping myself.. and keeping myself very occupied to fill the void. I've been running.... figuratively and literally...  Running long distance has become an obsession. Just this week, I ran 40km in all. I think my legs will give way very soon... and yoga doesn't seem to help release the tension. But so far, it's keeping me fit and ironically, that pain feels therapeutic and gives me a somewhat sense of pleasure... hmm.. 

But I think that over the past 8 months... I've taken on a different perspective... I used to be more cautious, practical, and only keen on doing things I'm good at. Maybe it's cos I'm just a few months shy from entering the next decade of my life... I feel that I should experience life more... take more risks... learn more things... make more friends...and most importantly spend more time with loved ones... the ones who were there more or less throughout my life...

As such, when it came to my June Vacation this year, I decided to go to less travelled lands... Bosnia & Herzegovina and Croatia. While parts of the country still have reminders of the 1990s Bosnian War and inherent racial tension still prevails, both are surprising safe (except for the occasion unexplored landmines and the collapsable bullet-ridden buildings) and the people we met have been absolutely generous and warm. Yes, they do not forget... but they forgive. 

It's a very different trip for me. Due to work, I had no time to research or plan and just decided to go with an open heart and mind and see what happens when I get there. I was jittery the day before though. I bought a ticket, packed what I needed for abt 14 days and went over without insurance, bookings for accommodation and itinerary, with people I hardly know. But this spontaneity was one of the best things I've done this year. I've never learnt so much about another country (possibly cos I was never familiar with the Eastern Europe's history). I ended up staying at hostels, sleeping in some local's home, cooking meals for 5 people when I hardly cook in Singapore and almost landed in the police station (my travel mates eventually were detained.. details will not be divulged). 

It also left me churning as I found out that it was the Orthodox Christians and Catholics that did most of the ethnic cleansing on the Muslims. Essentially, they were the same race.. Europeans.. mostly blue-eyed blond / dark brown hair.. just separated by religion. I couldn't comprehend a war in modern times and in a modern city. The first hand accounts of war were horrific and hard to digest. I kept trying to remind Bata, the most passionate and somewhat aggrieved of the lot, not to associate the deeds by the Orthodox Serbians & Catholics Croatians with Christianity. He replied that he knows.. after all, people do associate terrorism with the Islam faith when it propagates no such acts of evil.  

The photography experience was also quite amazing... There were several interesting sights and people to snap and the learning curve was especially steep as my travel mates were very well equipped and know the technicalities of shooting. I've always relied on aesthetic appeal and instinct when it comes to composing pic... no GND, CPL, heavy post processing.. though I still won't be doing such stuff.. at least now, I know how it's used and done. 

Overall, I love my 2 weeks there. I will most probably continue to do such trips.. right now, Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, Bhutan, India and Peru are on my list... Will most probably see Iceland another time. This along with learning fencing, golfing, playing a violin, and sky diving.. all in due time.. 

At the home front, I've learned to appreciate our multi-racial society and the peace we have here in Singapore. I can't imagine a day when any race in Singapore would attempt to perform ethnic cleansing on another race.. but really, never say never...  I'm also worried about my grandma's and dad's health.. both had a scare recently. Grandma landed in hospital again.. though she has recovered I know she's buying time... In 2006, we were told she has 3 more mths to live. I guess women in my family are strong. She's still fighting, though I know she's ready to go.. When she became conscious, she asked us why hasn't she died... 

Last night, I was up the whole night.. on standby... Dad had chest pains... and the readings from the digital blood pressure monitor showed that his systolic/diastolic pressures were too high. I tried to stay calm.. he did too.. I could see the fear in his eyes.. and I was afraid.. very afraid.. After medication, he tried to take the measurement again, only to our horror that the batteries went flat.. and we didn't have any AAA batteries left! That alone perhaps stressed my dad even more. It took some time to charge those batteries. He did not want to go to the hospital yet.. so we adhered to his wishes.. that 15 to 20 mins wait at 1.30am was torturous... there was nothing we could do.. but wait and pray.. 

Thankfully, it wasn't a full blown heart attack like his previous one. I hope there won't be anymore such scare.. but I know the chance of relapse increases with age... I can just pray that God will take care of him.. 

I do not know when I will blog again... I hope I to write more.. Feeling rusty as it is... the words don't seem to flow as easily as it used to... it's a shame. 

Though it's totally irrelevant.. would just end this blog with a famous quote from Ludwig van Beethoven to his immortal beloved cos it's constantly on my mind... 

ever thine
ever mine
ever ours...

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Inside Steve's Brain

I was entertaining myself with www.apple.com/getamac/ads/ as I desperately tried to drown out the sounds of my tone-deaf relatives belting out karaoke songs in my house!

Yes… That’s pretty much my 'status' now on the 2nd day of the Chinese New Year.

I initially planned to accomplish several things during this seemingly long holiday. Not surprisingly, nothing is done except that I’m almost done with a book, “Inside Steve’s Brain”.

And so, when the 'music' floated to my ears, I couldn't carry on reading. I had to stop. It so happened that I was reading the section on Apple ads and so I started surfing for past Apple ads. Much to my amusement (and thankfully), the ads managed to drown out the sounds of my tone-deaf relatives. Thank goodness the next generation’s musicality is a drastic change from the previous generation (all of my cousins, my sis & I have musical backgrounds one way or another and I must say are pretty good singers ;p - guess we should be grateful that our parents provided that for us).

Now back to the book that occupied most of my CNY holidays…

There are many books on Apple but this is the first that I’ve read. I started using Apple products in 2006 but never bothered to find out more about the company or its founder. But in 2007 & 8, I started hearing more about him through a Mac believer and started to get a little more intrigued. Still, I never bothered to find out. So when I saw Inside Steve’s Brain at Borders last week, I thought it’s about time I find out more for myself.

It was like revelations. Suddenly, I relate to my Mac stuff and why they are designed in that manner. And previously heard information from SK is also mentioned in the book, creating a sense of much-desired familiarity. I particularly like the human elements in this book and how Steve Jobs’s personalities and idiosyncrasies are revealed through the way he works. It made me constantly reflect on the 16 Habits of Mind (I rather not, but I couldn’t help it) and the way I manage my area of work. It also gave me a better understanding of the Apple company.. not just what happened… but also why it happened and how decisions made in the past impacted Apple today.

It’s a pity that I’m only starting to know a little more about Steve Jobs when he’s not well. I hope he will get better and that the investors just quit harping on his health disclosure (or lack thereof). In worst circumstances, may his legacy still continue with or without him…

Some say Apple is Steve Jobs and without him, Apple is nothing. In a way, he reminds me of a significant founder of Singapore, Uncle Lee - their pursuit for excellence & perfectionism, the no-nonsense, harsh approach, lack of tolerance for stupidity but most importantly their passion to make a difference…

I doubt I'll ever be like them (and I don't want to). But I do hope to learn a little from them and hope that some of their passion and their level-headedness can be rubbed off onto me.

I can't say I'm a Mac but I think I'm slowly but surely becoming one.

And now, I shall end off with Apple's old ads which I like, subtle, intelligent & different... that pretty sums up what I like abt most things as well..

Damn! They are still singing.......
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When the going gets tough, the tough gets going... so do the lamsers

Spent my Sunday at a JC friend's house warming at Jalan Bahagia.... amazing how after so many yrs, we are still so crappy and close and how the guys don't look much diff but the girls all age one way or another... 

Learnt a new thing as well. For the first time in my life, I realised that there are 2-storey terrace houses sold by HDB. The size is pretty decent and the price is much cheaper than most 2-bedder condominums (~ $400k). Such a lovely estate as well. If only... 

While the initial conversations were light hearted, the topic of the economic downturn and retrenchment took centrestage. Being in the double pure science, economics n C Maths combi, our class of 23 is split into mainly three types... IT/Engineer, Bankers/Auditors and Educators.

As I hear from my friends who work in Citibank, Barclays and Standard Chartered talk about how the banks move from dept to dept to axe people, I can't help feel worried for my friends especially those with families or huge loans to pay off. And for those in IT, the cuts are worst.... so they tell me. That made me worry even more... The manner they cut staff seems so clinical as well..  Apparently, after being appraised, those axed will be escorted out of the office straightaway and the security guards will pack their belongings at their desk for them. No returning to the desk for fear of fraud or extractions of confidential data. No saying goodbye to colleagues as well. 

Expectedly, the non-educators turn to the 4 educators present to ask us what's the expected pay if they join teaching. I can't help but feel uneasy cos I always feel that teaching should never be a backup or something to fall back on in times of economic downturn. But you never know, there may be some converts who eventually become really excellent teachers.

As the gloom hangs over us, a lot of people would perhaps hope for secure jobs, cash, and investments that will not depreciate that much. But I think what's most important is that there are people who will support and love you no matter what the situation is. It is this support without the undue stress and pressure that will get those affected going again...  If need be, I will be there for them too. 

But a lot of it has to do with the individual who's affected as well. Not everything is about money and with persistence and resourcefulness, the tough will get going when the going gets tough.... 

And in such times, no matter how hard it seems, we have to try to find humour in life still... 

So here's my current fav theatre ad (been a movie junkie lately.. watching movies twice a week to prevent me from thinking too much). 

Apparently, the guy in the clip, Matt Harding has been travelling to various countries to do his signature dance before VISA hired him to do the ad. http://www.wherethehellismatt.com/about.shtml 

 

Somehow, the lamsing looks familiar ;p 

Happy New Year!

Hmm.. just received an email from a friend who informed me that Disney's going to transform  just for me... 

Yah sure...  

Happy New Year everyone... may 2009 be a gd year for all still... 
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I'm back...

I'd expected the month to pass by very quickly. And there it went, my days in the UK are over. All the wintery feel is gone. I really enjoyed the first half of my trip, the 2nd would have been nicer if and only if... While I did see snow fall for the first time.... it was way too short. A mere 2 minutes was all I experienced. But it brought a smile and a thought that perhaps 2 years was way too short as well. I just have to be patient and wait for my snow fall experience again. I know it will come back to me one day. I just have to keep hoping..

As I was unpacking and planning my insurmountable to-do-list, the TV was switched on to fill in the silence (as advised by someone). In Her Shoes was on TV... didn't really catch the show.. but paused as Cameron Diaz's character read out this poem to her sister on her wedding day.

It's simple in delivery. Nothing too profound which is what things should be in reality. Nothing much to figure out too.. Not everything needs to be analysed too critically. It's just unconditional love. If you can feel something special when you read / hear it, you have been blessed.

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I carry your heart with me

(I carry it in my heart)

by E. E. Cummings

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I carry your heart with me

(I carry it in my heart)

I am never without it

(anywhere I go, you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)

I fear no fate

(for you are my fate, my sweet)

I want no world

(for beautiful you are my world, my true)

and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you

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Here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

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I carry your heart

(I carry it in my heart)

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Details in the Fabric

Details In The Fabric

(Jason Mraz feat. James Morrison)

Calm down
Deep breaths
And get yourself dressed instead
Of running around
And pulling all your threads saying
Breaking yourself up
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If it's a broken part, replace it
If it's a broken arm then brace it
If it's a broken heart then face it
.
And hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your own name
And go your own way
.
And everything will be fine
Everything will be fine
.
Hang on
Help is on the way
Stay strong
I'm doing everything
.
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
.
And everything, everything will be fine
Everything
.
Are the details in the fabric
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling?
.
Are the things that make you blow
Hell, no reason, go on and scream
If you're shocked it's just the fault
Of faulty manufacturing.
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Yeah everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Everything
.
Hold your own
And know your name
And go your own way
.
Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own, know your name)
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling? (Go your own way)
.
Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own, know your name)
Are the things that make you panic (Go your own way)
Is it Mother Nature's sewing machine?
.
Are the things that make you blow (Hold your own, know your name)
Hell no reason go on and scream
If you're shocked it's just the fault (Go your own way)
Of faulty manufacturing
.
Everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Hearts will hold
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This is the current song that befits my mood... Tells me to be strong, hold on and not break myself up.

It's ironic how just this morning, a jedi told me that I'll be getting the "I am Healthy Award" for having zero MC this year, and later in the afternoon, my doc tells me that my condition has deteriorated. She recommended me a series of medication and I asked her how long can I hold it for? Of course, it was the usual reply... You are still young.. the earlier the treatment, the better... I'll hold. It's not a life and death situation as yet.

As I left and drove off, I find myself crying to my destination... vivo... I planned to watch Vicky Cristina Barcelona last night, and strangely, I didn't let the news change my plans. Life has to go on... Perhaps, I've become immuned to such misfortunes or that I have come to realise that there are many more who are suffering worst fates than me.. or that I have faith that everything happens for a reason and that God will make things right for us... It's not blind faith..cos I've actually recovered from my earlier setbacks much faster that I could imagine...

In fact, someone asked me how I hold my shit up... nah.. the exact words were... "Now I really admire u n respect u for the way u coped so well wif ur probs"

And so, after Vicky Cristina Barcelona, a brillant film by Woody Allen ( a pity it is not so popular just because it's not a commercialised movie), I found myself aiming to go Spain in the next two years, a country which I planned to go in 2003 but didn't... I also found myself laughing at the silliness of relationships, obsessions and worries, and I became happier... and also a little more hopeful that it'll be a PASS so that I can go for RP with SK.

I've made a decision not to be obsessed by the details in the fabric... and just calm down, take deep breaths and not break myself up...

If it's a broken part, replace it

If it's a broken arm then brace it

If it's a broken heart then face it

And hold MY own

Know MY name

And go MY own way

Hold MY own

Know MY own name

And go MY own way

And everything will be fine

Everything will be fine

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Note: I chanced upon this Youtube which features a dancer doing a comtemporary improvisation... something like the kind of dance that I learnt from Silva... It's very pretty and graceful. How I wish I can dance again... . A pity it stops short at 1 min and 43 secs and then it goes into a black screen of darkness.... a tragedy of my life perhaps.. that good things come to an end (shortly)..

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My 7th year producing School Magazines

Yet another significant 7!
Here it is! My 7th production.... hot and fresh from the printer's factory!


Been doing school publications since 2002.

It's not easy work, that's for sure... but as the years went by, the efficiency improved but it's just because I've been doing it for so long...

Every idea, every concept has a background to it...

It could be something I saw along the road, a little advertisement somewhere or a chance click on someone's photograph in flickr...

Now that I'm in my 7th year of producing such magazines, I decided to pay a tribute to all the magazines that was conceptualised in my head and finally out in print...

2002 School Magazine... my first production

Was only one month in the service as a full fledged teacher and I was tasked to produce the school magazine! This concept was actually taken from the Savannah Condo's advertisement! Can't believe it's 7 years since I did my first school magazine...It's about time I retire...

2003 School Magazine

Did this magazine with Wati... decided to create a design competition for the school magazine cover... the winner went to Zuibadiah..

2004 School Official Opening and 10th Anniversary Commerative Magazine

Took a break from doing school magazine in 2004 as I was tasked to do this...The slogan was:
"I learn with passion, I lead to serve and I create the future" The concept came from the EPMS folder cover!!! Haha...

2005 School Magazine

THEME: Persevere with PRIDE (Core Values: Perseverance, Respect, Integrity, Dedication to Nation, Excellence)
Conceptualise this when I drove past Victoria JC one day and saw a similar picture on their banner with the line, "The grass is always greener on the other side"

This is by far my favourite school magazine as it was a breakthrough for me... really enjoyed working on this one... Told one colleague before that I feared that this magazine will be my personal best... True enough, I haven't liked any of my other works as much as this one.... Could still remember the whole school clapping and some turning towards the back of the school hall in my direction when the students officially received this...

2006 School Magazine

School Metaphor: Garden of Growth
Got the idea from a picture in flickr.. showed it to the publisher who went to source for a similar pic from his stock photos.

2007 School Magazine

THEME: Grow with PRIDE

(Note the "PRIDE" word is actually done using hot stamping.. it needs light to reflect the metallic red which can't be seen when it is scanned.)

Was inspired by a shot of teenagers posing in some cool shot against a dirty wall... Decided to go for the cool, proud, edgy feel for this year's magazine.. a play of word on the acronym of our school values.
Discovered a new venue for photo shoot as well... the rifle range in our school's underground bomb shelter which is seldom used.

2008 School Magazine

THEME: Bridging Gaps

(Note the "Bridging Gaps" wordings are actually done using hot stamping.. it needs light to reflect the metallic blue which can't be seen when it is scanned.)

Got the inspiration from a flame smoke shot in flickr... didn't realise how a simple flame smoke can be so beautiful... perhaps, I'm hoping that the place I once called Simpleville can be as beautiful as it was before....

~ THE END ~

For the rest of the divider's photos, please click here.