7 years later...

Someone Like You

2011-10-10T02:31:00.003+08:00

Such an evocative song.. bring back memories...

It's been 5 months, old friend...

2009-06-28T15:43:00.011+08:00

Just realised that I have neglected my blog for a full 5 months... that's almost half a year... I blame it on Facebook which I log on religiously on an almost daily basis.

It's not as if I've nothing to blog about. At times when something inspired me to write an entry, I'll try to organise the ideas in my mind but something else always take precedence...

It seems this year, I'm revamping myself.. and keeping myself very occupied to fill the void. I've been running.... figuratively and literally... Running long distance has become an obsession. Just this week, I ran 40km in all. I think my legs will give way very soon... and yoga doesn't seem to help release the tension. But so far, it's keeping me fit and ironically, that pain feels therapeutic and gives me a somewhat sense of pleasure... hmm..

But I think that over the past 8 months... I've taken on a different perspective... I used to be more cautious, practical, and only keen on doing things I'm good at. Maybe it's cos I'm just a few months shy from entering the next decade of my life... I feel that I should experience life more... take more risks... learn more things... make more friends...and most importantly spend more time with loved ones... the ones who were there more or less throughout my life...

As such, when it came to my June Vacation this year, I decided to go to less travelled lands... Bosnia & Herzegovina and Croatia. While parts of the country still have reminders of the 1990s Bosnian War and inherent racial tension still prevails, both are surprising safe (except for the occasion unexplored landmines and the collapsable bullet-ridden buildings) and the people we met have been absolutely generous and warm. Yes, they do not forget... but they forgive.

It's a very different trip for me. Due to work, I had no time to research or plan and just decided to go with an open heart and mind and see what happens when I get there. I was jittery the day before though. I bought a ticket, packed what I needed for abt 14 days and went over without insurance, bookings for accommodation and itinerary, with people I hardly know. But this spontaneity was one of the best things I've done this year. I've never learnt so much about another country (possibly cos I was never familiar with the Eastern Europe's history). I ended up staying at hostels, sleeping in some local's home, cooking meals for 5 people when I hardly cook in Singapore and almost landed in the police station (my travel mates eventually were detained.. details will not be divulged).

It also left me churning as I found out that it was the Orthodox Christians and Catholics that did most of the ethnic cleansing on the Muslims. Essentially, they were the same race.. Europeans.. mostly blue-eyed blond / dark brown hair.. just separated by religion. I couldn't comprehend a war in modern times and in a modern city. The first hand accounts of war were horrific and hard to digest. I kept trying to remind Bata, the most passionate and somewhat aggrieved of the lot, not to associate the deeds by the Orthodox Serbians & Catholics Croatians with Christianity. He replied that he knows.. after all, people do associate terrorism with the Islam faith when it propagates no such acts of evil.

The photography experience was also quite amazing... There were several interesting sights and people to snap and the learning curve was especially steep as my travel mates were very well equipped and know the technicalities of shooting. I've always relied on aesthetic appeal and instinct when it comes to composing pic... no GND, CPL, heavy post processing.. though I still won't be doing such stuff.. at least now, I know how it's used and done.

Overall, I love my 2 weeks there. I will most probably continue to do such trips.. right now, Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, Bhutan, India and Peru are on my list... Will most probably see Iceland another time. This along with learning fencing, golfing, playing a violin, and sky diving.. all in due time..

At the home front, I've learned to appreciate our multi-racial society and the peace we have here in Singapore. I can't imagine a day when any race in Singapore would attempt to perform ethnic cleansing on another race.. but really, never say never... I'm also worried about my grandma's and dad's health.. both had a scare recently. Grandma landed in hospital again.. though she has recovered I know she's buying time... In 2006, we were told she has 3 more mths to live. I guess women in my family are strong. She's still fighting, though I know she's ready to go.. When she became conscious, she asked us why hasn't she died...

Last night, I was up the whole night.. on standby... Dad had chest pains... and the readings from the digital blood pressure monitor showed that his systolic/diastolic pressures were too high. I tried to stay calm.. he did too.. I could see the fear in his eyes.. and I was afraid.. very afraid.. After medication, he tried to take the measurement again, only to our horror that the batteries went flat.. and we didn't have any AAA batteries left! That alone perhaps stressed my dad even more. It took some time to charge those batteries. He did not want to go to the hospital yet.. so we adhered to his wishes.. that 15 to 20 mins wait at 1.30am was torturous... there was nothing we could do.. but wait and pray..

Thankfully, it wasn't a full blown heart attack like his previous one. I hope there won't be anymore such scare.. but I know the chance of relapse increases with age... I can just pray that God will take care of him..

I do not know when I will blog again... I hope I to write more.. Feeling rusty as it is... the words don't seem to flow as easily as it used to... it's a shame.

Though it's totally irrelevant.. would just end this blog with a famous quote from Ludwig van Beethoven to his immortal beloved cos it's constantly on my mind...

ever thine
ever mine
ever ours...

Inside Steve's Brain

2009-01-27T15:43:00.011+08:00

I was entertaining myself with www.apple.com/getamac/ads/ as I desperately tried to drown out the sounds of my tone-deaf relatives belting out karaoke songs in my house!

Yes… That’s pretty much my 'status' now on the 2nd day of the Chinese New Year.

I initially planned to accomplish several things during this seemingly long holiday. Not surprisingly, nothing is done except that I’m almost done with a book, “Inside Steve’s Brain”.

And so, when the 'music' floated to my ears, I couldn't carry on reading. I had to stop. It so happened that I was reading the section on Apple ads and so I started surfing for past Apple ads. Much to my amusement (and thankfully), the ads managed to drown out the sounds of my tone-deaf relatives. Thank goodness the next generation’s musicality is a drastic change from the previous generation (all of my cousins, my sis & I have musical backgrounds one way or another and I must say are pretty good singers ;p - guess we should be grateful that our parents provided that for us).

Now back to the book that occupied most of my CNY holidays…

There are many books on Apple but this is the first that I’ve read. I started using Apple products in 2006 but never bothered to find out more about the company or its founder. But in 2007 & 8, I started hearing more about him through a Mac believer and started to get a little more intrigued. Still, I never bothered to find out. So when I saw Inside Steve’s Brain at Borders last week, I thought it’s about time I find out more for myself.

It was like revelations. Suddenly, I relate to my Mac stuff and why they are designed in that manner. And previously heard information from SK is also mentioned in the book, creating a sense of much-desired familiarity. I particularly like the human elements in this book and how Steve Jobs’s personalities and idiosyncrasies are revealed through the way he works. It made me constantly reflect on the 16 Habits of Mind (I rather not, but I couldn’t help it) and the way I manage my area of work. It also gave me a better understanding of the Apple company.. not just what happened… but also why it happened and how decisions made in the past impacted Apple today.

It’s a pity that I’m only starting to know a little more about Steve Jobs when he’s not well. I hope he will get better and that the investors just quit harping on his health disclosure (or lack thereof). In worst circumstances, may his legacy still continue with or without him…

Some say Apple is Steve Jobs and without him, Apple is nothing. In a way, he reminds me of a significant founder of Singapore, Uncle Lee - their pursuit for excellence & perfectionism, the no-nonsense, harsh approach, lack of tolerance for stupidity but most importantly their passion to make a difference…

I doubt I'll ever be like them (and I don't want to). But I do hope to learn a little from them and hope that some of their passion and their level-headedness can be rubbed off onto me.

I can't say I'm a Mac but I think I'm slowly but surely becoming one.

And now, I shall end off with Apple's old ads which I like, subtle, intelligent & different... that pretty sums up what I like abt most things as well..

Damn! They are still singing.......
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When the going gets tough, the tough gets going... so do the lamsers

2009-01-19T19:18:00.009+08:00

Spent my Sunday at a JC friend's house warming at Jalan Bahagia.... amazing how after so many yrs, we are still so crappy and close and how the guys don't look much diff but the girls all age one way or another...

Learnt a new thing as well. For the first time in my life, I realised that there are 2-storey terrace houses sold by HDB. The size is pretty decent and the price is much cheaper than most 2-bedder condominums (~ $400k). Such a lovely estate as well. If only...

While the initial conversations were light hearted, the topic of the economic downturn and retrenchment took centrestage. Being in the double pure science, economics n C Maths combi, our class of 23 is split into mainly three types... IT/Engineer, Bankers/Auditors and Educators.

As I hear from my friends who work in Citibank, Barclays and Standard Chartered talk about how the banks move from dept to dept to axe people, I can't help feel worried for my friends especially those with families or huge loans to pay off. And for those in IT, the cuts are worst.... so they tell me. That made me worry even more... The manner they cut staff seems so clinical as well.. Apparently, after being appraised, those axed will be escorted out of the office straightaway and the security guards will pack their belongings at their desk for them. No returning to the desk for fear of fraud or extractions of confidential data. No saying goodbye to colleagues as well.

Expectedly, the non-educators turn to the 4 educators present to ask us what's the expected pay if they join teaching. I can't help but feel uneasy cos I always feel that teaching should never be a backup or something to fall back on in times of economic downturn. But you never know, there may be some converts who eventually become really excellent teachers.

As the gloom hangs over us, a lot of people would perhaps hope for secure jobs, cash, and investments that will not depreciate that much. But I think what's most important is that there are people who will support and love you no matter what the situation is. It is this support without the undue stress and pressure that will get those affected going again... If need be, I will be there for them too.

But a lot of it has to do with the individual who's affected as well. Not everything is about money and with persistence and resourcefulness, the tough will get going when the going gets tough....

And in such times, no matter how hard it seems, we have to try to find humour in life still...

So here's my current fav theatre ad (been a movie junkie lately.. watching movies twice a week to prevent me from thinking too much).

Apparently, the guy in the clip, Matt Harding has been travelling to various countries to do his signature dance before VISA hired him to do the ad. http://www.wherethehellismatt.com/about.shtml

Somehow, the lamsing looks familiar ;p

Happy New Year!

2009-01-01T22:01:00.006+08:00

Hmm.. just received an email from a friend who informed me that Disney's going to transform just for me...

Yah sure...

Happy New Year everyone... may 2009 be a gd year for all still...
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I'm back...

2008-12-17T00:41:00.007+08:00

I'd expected the month to pass by very quickly. And there it went, my days in the UK are over. All the wintery feel is gone. I really enjoyed the first half of my trip, the 2nd would have been nicer if and only if... While I did see snow fall for the first time.... it was way too short. A mere 2 minutes was all I experienced. But it brought a smile and a thought that perhaps 2 years was way too short as well. I just have to be patient and wait for my snow fall experience again. I know it will come back to me one day. I just have to keep hoping..

As I was unpacking and planning my insurmountable to-do-list, the TV was switched on to fill in the silence (as advised by someone). In Her Shoes was on TV... didn't really catch the show.. but paused as Cameron Diaz's character read out this poem to her sister on her wedding day.

It's simple in delivery. Nothing too profound which is what things should be in reality. Nothing much to figure out too.. Not everything needs to be analysed too critically. It's just unconditional love. If you can feel something special when you read / hear it, you have been blessed.

I carry your heart with me

(I carry it in my heart)

by E. E. Cummings

I carry your heart with me

(I carry it in my heart)

I am never without it

(anywhere I go, you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)

I fear no fate

(for you are my fate, my sweet)

I want no world

(for beautiful you are my world, my true)

and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart

(I carry it in my heart)

Details in the Fabric

2008-10-29T23:15:00.017+08:00

Details In The Fabric

(Jason Mraz feat. James Morrison)

Calm down
Deep breaths
And get yourself dressed instead
Of running around
And pulling all your threads saying
Breaking yourself up
.
If it's a broken part, replace it
If it's a broken arm then brace it
If it's a broken heart then face it
.
And hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your own name
And go your own way
.
And everything will be fine
Everything will be fine
.
Hang on
Help is on the way
Stay strong
I'm doing everything
.
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
.
And everything, everything will be fine
Everything
.
Are the details in the fabric
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling?
.
Are the things that make you blow
Hell, no reason, go on and scream
If you're shocked it's just the fault
Of faulty manufacturing.
.
Yeah everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Everything
.
Hold your own
And know your name
And go your own way
.
Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own, know your name)
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling? (Go your own way)
.
Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own, know your name)
Are the things that make you panic (Go your own way)
Is it Mother Nature's sewing machine?
.
Are the things that make you blow (Hold your own, know your name)
Hell no reason go on and scream
If you're shocked it's just the fault (Go your own way)
Of faulty manufacturing
.
Everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Hearts will hold
.

This is the current song that befits my mood... Tells me to be strong, hold on and not break myself up.

It's ironic how just this morning, a jedi told me that I'll be getting the "I am Healthy Award" for having zero MC this year, and later in the afternoon, my doc tells me that my condition has deteriorated. She recommended me a series of medication and I asked her how long can I hold it for? Of course, it was the usual reply... You are still young.. the earlier the treatment, the better... I'll hold. It's not a life and death situation as yet.

As I left and drove off, I find myself crying to my destination... vivo... I planned to watch Vicky Cristina Barcelona last night, and strangely, I didn't let the news change my plans. Life has to go on... Perhaps, I've become immuned to such misfortunes or that I have come to realise that there are many more who are suffering worst fates than me.. or that I have faith that everything happens for a reason and that God will make things right for us... It's not blind faith..cos I've actually recovered from my earlier setbacks much faster that I could imagine...

In fact, someone asked me how I hold my shit up... nah.. the exact words were... "Now I really admire u n respect u for the way u coped so well wif ur probs"

And so, after Vicky Cristina Barcelona, a brillant film by Woody Allen ( a pity it is not so popular just because it's not a commercialised movie), I found myself aiming to go Spain in the next two years, a country which I planned to go in 2003 but didn't... I also found myself laughing at the silliness of relationships, obsessions and worries, and I became happier... and also a little more hopeful that it'll be a PASS so that I can go for RP with SK.

I've made a decision not to be obsessed by the details in the fabric... and just calm down, take deep breaths and not break myself up...

If it's a broken part, replace it

If it's a broken arm then brace it

If it's a broken heart then face it

And hold MY own

Know MY name

And go MY own way

Hold MY own

Know MY own name

And go MY own way

And everything will be fine

Everything will be fine

Note: I chanced upon this Youtube which features a dancer doing a comtemporary improvisation... something like the kind of dance that I learnt from Silva... It's very pretty and graceful. How I wish I can dance again... . A pity it stops short at 1 min and 43 secs and then it goes into a black screen of darkness.... a tragedy of my life perhaps.. that good things come to an end (shortly)..

My 7th year producing School Magazines

2008-10-23T20:31:00.003+08:00

Yet another significant 7!
Here it is! My 7th production.... hot and fresh from the printer's factory!

Been doing school publications since 2002.

It's not easy work, that's for sure... but as the years went by, the efficiency improved but it's just because I've been doing it for so long...

Every idea, every concept has a background to it...

It could be something I saw along the road, a little advertisement somewhere or a chance click on someone's photograph in flickr...

Now that I'm in my 7th year of producing such magazines, I decided to pay a tribute to all the magazines that was conceptualised in my head and finally out in print...

2002 School Magazine... my first production

Was only one month in the service as a full fledged teacher and I was tasked to produce the school magazine! This concept was actually taken from the Savannah Condo's advertisement! Can't believe it's 7 years since I did my first school magazine...It's about time I retire...

2003 School Magazine

Did this magazine with Wati... decided to create a design competition for the school magazine cover... the winner went to Zuibadiah..

2004 School Official Opening and 10th Anniversary Commerative Magazine

Took a break from doing school magazine in 2004 as I was tasked to do this...The slogan was:
"I learn with passion, I lead to serve and I create the future" The concept came from the EPMS folder cover!!! Haha...

2005 School Magazine

THEME: Persevere with PRIDE (Core Values: Perseverance, Respect, Integrity, Dedication to Nation, Excellence)
Conceptualise this when I drove past Victoria JC one day and saw a similar picture on their banner with the line, "The grass is always greener on the other side"

This is by far my favourite school magazine as it was a breakthrough for me... really enjoyed working on this one... Told one colleague before that I feared that this magazine will be my personal best... True enough, I haven't liked any of my other works as much as this one.... Could still remember the whole school clapping and some turning towards the back of the school hall in my direction when the students officially received this...

2006 School Magazine

School Metaphor: Garden of Growth
Got the idea from a picture in flickr.. showed it to the publisher who went to source for a similar pic from his stock photos.

2007 School Magazine

THEME: Grow with PRIDE

(Note the "PRIDE" word is actually done using hot stamping.. it needs light to reflect the metallic red which can't be seen when it is scanned.)

Was inspired by a shot of teenagers posing in some cool shot against a dirty wall... Decided to go for the cool, proud, edgy feel for this year's magazine.. a play of word on the acronym of our school values.
Discovered a new venue for photo shoot as well... the rifle range in our school's underground bomb shelter which is seldom used.

2008 School Magazine

THEME: Bridging Gaps

(Note the "Bridging Gaps" wordings are actually done using hot stamping.. it needs light to reflect the metallic blue which can't be seen when it is scanned.)

Got the inspiration from a flame smoke shot in flickr... didn't realise how a simple flame smoke can be so beautiful... perhaps, I'm hoping that the place I once called Simpleville can be as beautiful as it was before....

~ THE END ~

For the rest of the divider's photos, please click here.

Visual, Aural Spectacular...

2008-10-21T00:40:00.005+08:00

My first encounter with Nederlands Dans Theater performance was in 2006. Back then, I was amazed by their performance and how the props further enhanced the visual impact the performance created. It left such a lasting impression on me that it negated all the hurt that I had to bear.

Since then, I've been waiting for a chance to watch them perform again... so much so that when I was in Netherlands last year, I tried looking for tickets to their performance but alas, the timing didn't match.

During these 2 years of waiting, I tried to look for other options and went for other dance concerts... Lala Human Steps, Korean b boyz, jazz ballet, Old Sounds, Ballet under the Stars etc... each time I stepped out of those concert.. I felt disappointed.. I kept thinking about how they were not able to match the NDT's performance I watched back then. I've come to realise that there is only one dance company that I'll forever be loyal to.... no matter how much others may sway me to move on.. to consider other dance companies.. I find it difficult to love another as much as the NDT's performances.

Nothing beats the real thing.. the one that captured my heart and mesmerised me from the start...

The dance concert I watched on Saturday was a double bill:Silent Screen and A Toss of a Dice. Silent Screen was so amazing.. at the beginning, I was already enthralled... the 3 huge panels mimicked a movie screen showing a black and white scene of a man walking into a sea.. while a couple danced in sync in some of the most unique moves.. and all these while, the music being played is the haunting theme song of the movie, The Hours. There was a lot of mood and emotions portrayed.. which stirred up quite a bit of my emotions as well... . and then there was this favourite scene (see above pic).. I guess I don't quite make sense now...You really have to be there to appreciate the whole performance..

At the end of the concert, I stayed back to hear the post talk... I found myself smiling with hair raised at the ends of skin when Paul Lightfoot (the choreographer for the 1st dance) shared about how he and his wife (Sol Leon) work together to choreograph and dance together. I think it's amazing for a couple to be able to love each other and do what they love together as well... And funnily, he revealed that he had been secretly naming his dance pieces with words starting with the letter 'S' after his wife's name Sol. Awww... that's so sweet..

It was a packed theatre on Saturday night.. more so than the one in 2006 and it definitely won the audience over..

Next year would be NDT's 50th anniversary.. I really hope that they will find a way to perform here next year... But with their popularity increasing, this will only mean that it will be harder to get tickets to their next concert. But I will persist...

No matter how long it takes. I'll wait till I see NDT again.. hopefully soon....

Feeling Lucky (?)

2008-10-07T23:18:00.005+08:00

A lot happened and is going to happen this year...

At times, I feel that luck is on my side and despite how bad things seem..I gradually see the reasons behind those trials.

Been feeling lucky again as I just learnt that I'll be going for a fully-paid trip (with allowances included) to Scotland and London for an immersion programme. With an extension from the intended 1.5 week programme, I'll most probably be in UK for a month. Not only that, I'll get to take the new Airbus 380!

But when I went for the 1st meeting this afternoon, I realised (as always) that nothing is free. The amount of things to prepare before and after the trip will most probably wear me out. I guess the most fearful thing is that I'll have to teach the UK students while I'm there.. Seems rather odd to learn English from a Chinese.
Nevertheless, I'm excited about it... I think the learning curve will be extremely steep.

When I made the decision to give up a possible life in the finance sector, I thought I'll never get to travel for work. Glad that need not be the case. I guess it's a dream to marry both work and my interest of travelling together. My first overseas assignment in Hanoi this April was a good experience. Hopefully, this one will too.

Really hope my luck doesn't run out or that my life is cut short suddenly... Cos everytime something good happens to me, I'll be thinking that something has go to balance it.. or perhaps I've gone through enough agony already and that's not necessary.

I also hope that my ex-padawans and current ones will learn that they should go out and seek opportunities themselves to do what they want and never be disheartened when things don't go their way... for someday, luck or some divine intervention will be on their side...

As for the other aspects of my life, they may not be that exciting... but I'm still enjoying them... will keep on waiting until the time is right....It all depends on God ... Everything in His time...

Meanwhile, here's my latest favourite song... it's amazing how apt it can be..

Lucky

by Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat

Do you hear me, I'm talking to you

Across the water across the deep blue ocean

Under the open sky oh my, baby I'm trying

Boy I hear you in my dreams

I feel your whisper across the sea

I keep you with me in my heart

You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend

Lucky to have been where I have been

Lucky to be coming home again

Ooooh....

They don't know how long it takes

Waiting for a love like this

Every time we say goodbye

I wish we had one more kiss

I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend

Lucky to have been where I have been

Lucky to be coming home again

I'm lucky we're in love in every way

Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed

Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea

To an island where we'll meet

You'll hear the music, feel the air

I'll put a flower in your hair

Though the breezes through the trees

Move so pretty you're all I see

As the world keeps spinning round

You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend

Lucky to have been where I have been

Lucky to be coming home again

I'm lucky we're in love in every way

Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed

Lucky to be coming home someday

Ooohh....

Procrastination at work...

2008-10-02T22:40:00.010+08:00

I'm filled to the brim with work...

Sch mag vetting (decided to go solo this year) / Exam Markings / Assignments (due in two days' time) and yet all I can think about are the two movies that I want to watch when I am 'free- er'.

This is not good....procrastination at work... very bad role model.

But I'm in 'rebel' mood.... so anyway, here are the two movies that'll I'll be watching .... hopefully soon.
Anyone care to join me?

#1 Burn after reading...

In serious need of laughter.... been deprived of that for a long time..
I think this silly yet witty movie about the "brillant" minds at the CIA, which leads us to ask: just how intelligent is Central Intelligence..... will do the trick.

Love the feel of the movie.. and the one liner that caught my attention... "Intelligence is relative".
And of course the Brad Pitt and George Clooney combi...
It's a pity that this movie has been censored to a NC 16 category.

#2 Nights in Rodanthe

Having watched The Notebook over and over... I think any story/movie related to Nicholas Sparks is something that I'll be keen on... Sadly, I can't find the time to read his books... as it is, I have a whole shelf of unread books in my room... not sure when I'll touch them..other than the one I'm currently reading, 'Love Letters of Great Men'.

Well, as for the line that caught my attention....

"Lives change... paths cross... It's never too late for a second chance of a lifetime."
I think I better get enough tissues for this one.

We'll find a way...

2008-09-27T11:45:00.006+08:00

GOD WILL MAKE A WAY

by Don Moen

God will make a way where there seems to be no way

He works in ways we cannot see

He will make a way for me

He will be my guide

Hold me closely to His side

With love and strength

For each new day

He will make a way

By a roadway

In the wilderness

He'll lead me

And rivers in the desert will I see

Heaven and earth will fade

But his word will still remain

He will do something new today

.
.

God will make a way where there seems to be no way

He works in ways we cannot see

He will make a way for me

He will be my guide

Hold me closely to His side

With love and strength

For each new day

He will make a way

.
.

2021

The Days

2008-09-20T23:29:00.034+08:00

Watched The Days last night. Normally, I wouldn't have watched a movie about Ah Bengs but my friend was starring in that movie... and so I went to support her.. and of course local movies too...

I remember three years ago when Adele and I were having a break from our Dance rehearsal for the Qi Concert, we were playing with our iPod minis. I actually remembered her's was green and mine blue.. She let me listen to a song she recorded. I was amazed as it sounded really professional.. Of course I had no clue what the lyrics meant cos it was in Mandarin ;(

We talked a little about whether she's intending to pursue singing... can't remember exactly what we said but I being the practical person did think that it's difficult to pursue music in Singapore... how skeptical.. Look where she is now.. she has a movie and her very own MTV.. I hope it's a stepping stone for her, especially since she is one of the more credible and natural actor on that movie and she looks so pretty...

Perhaps, this is a lesson for us to remind ourselves that we should all learn to follow our dreams and pursue what we want to do no matter what the society pressures are.

As for the movie, it was surprisingly engaging. There was 'heart' and meaning (except for the ending though) but I guess more so because it was set in my time.. my 'era'... The 90's. The days (for a short period of time) when almost every alternate Saturdays, I'll be at a Tea Dance at Shock Odyssey or Fire (embarrass). And the Chantel Thomas bag, Versace hairband and Ferragamo hairclip that were given to me although it was known that I did not like those stuff. I also had a pager back then.. I still have it!!! I thought it'll be something that will be absolete in the future.. better keep it as an antique.. haha..

The movie also brought back memories of my rather forgotten past.... not that I was an Ah Lian .. but like Adele's good girl character in the movie, I dated a somewhat similar character.. Mark Ong.

I must clarify that he's not the Hokkien beng.. strangely, he's from an English speaking family...studied in an all boys' school and doesn't speak much chinese but because of external influence and family background (perhaps), he was involved with other bengs and became like one.

There was such an uncanny resemblance in the movie... two teens - good student /prefect/potential JC kid + quiet but violent beng when provoked, who happens to want to be known as Tian Long...though that wasn't his real name (The ah beng character in the movie is Zi Long)

And there was one scene that really triggered my memory... the scene where Shan Shan (Adele's character) helped Zi Long to study. I recalled the times I was trying to teach Mark E maths... much to both parties' frustration.. (no wonder I ended up being an English teacher instead).

And then there were the down times when I worried for his safety or when he told me he had to "settle something" and the times I feared being spot checked by the police because he carried this ridiculously big swissknife-looking weapon for God knows what reasons, when we were out. In fact, the police did check us on one occasion but luckily he wasn't frisked. There was also a time when he was housing two friends who ran away from Gracehaven (it even came out in the papers). And then there were the tattoos.. chinese character 龙, the thorns around the arm & the dragon & red sun which I totally hated.

Yet, it was the sweetest relationship I ever had...

He was very patient when he's with me. He's muscially & artistically gifted and he would serenade me on his guitar, make me music tapes of the songs he finds meaningful, write me poems and draw sketches of me (during his Literature exam! He gave me his exam question paper with my sketch on it).. very much the SNAGs, a real distinction from the ah bengs. And he always kept his promises and didn't make those he couldn't keep (hmm sounds familiar)...

The relationship lasted almost 2 years and would have gone on longer. There was nothing wrong with us. He initiated the breakup near the end of Sec 4. Reason being that I'll be gg to a JC and he.. most probably nowhere (It turned out, we had a 20 points gap in our O level L1R5). I understood his dilemma and his pain but respected his decision and maturity. He did promise me that he'll be there for me. True enough, he kept me company to church for 6 more months and occasionally went out for movies but he was very careful not to cross the line of friendship.... He slowly distant himself from me... and by the end of 6 months, I had kept myself busy with my JC life and I could let go... That helped eased the pain of breaking up... I think he intended it this way. Considering he was 16 then, he fared so much better than some adult males who just dumps the girl. Sadly, I have never heard from him since...

My friends did though... he asked about me and somehow knew that I am a teacher. I also met his mother too some time when I was in Uni (she really liked me back then). She asked me to visit and gave me their new home address and number. I never called. I read about him in the papers too and cut that article. His band, Straightjacket Experiment, cut an album and was featured in a full page article in Life section. Come to think of it, I still have his first demo tape. I'm not sure what happened to him or where he is now but I last heard that he was working at Zouk briefly and was pursuing music...

I guess it is fate that our paths never crossed since 1996. Perhaps it's better this way. I'll only have sweet memories of him and of THE DAYS when we were together. Wherever you are Mark, I wish you well.

Mad about English...

2008-07-24T22:33:00.004+08:00

I just fixed a date and booked an entire Lido 3 for my students to watch this movie documentary... Mad about English..

Kiasu syndrome at work... cos I hvn't decided which batch to bring.. Last year, I took the Sec 1 & 4 to watch Freedom Writers... I guess it's only fair to bring this year's Sec 1 & 4.. We'll see...

Really excited about it.. only thing is.. not sure if it's a gd idea to spend my birthday in a cinema filled with my padawans..

Been wanting to blog for so long... really hv no time to blog the things that really matters... so in case I forget again.. I shall just blog the titles ... again..

Blog #1 My Cat Hero..

Blog #2 Hypocrisy

Blog #3 Escape into the Realm of Giftedness

Blog #4 Diving Hiatus finally ended...
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La La La Human Steps vs Last for One

2008-06-16T00:52:00.003+08:00

Really glad that I'm going for a dance concert by a renown Canadian Dance group... strangely called La La La Human Steps.

I almost couldn't watch it as it was originally set to perform on the 6 - 7 June which I couldn't have gone as I was in Tokyo then. It was such a pity especially since I haven't really watched a real good contemporary dance performance for some time. The two that really captured my attention were the ones by Montreal Jazz Ballet troupe (2005) and another by Nederlands Dans theatre (2006).

Perhaps it is fated that La La La Human Steps should postpone their concert till a later date such that I can now watch it.There's something about comtemporary ballet that really captivates me... a break in conventions, less rigidity and non-conformity. Though the following videos are not the ones which I'll be watching, their style and skills are enough to entice me to watch their performance here at the Esplanade Theatre...Can’t wait…

Then again, I hope my high expectation for this performance will not lead me to disappointment as with the performance by Last for One, Spin Odyssey. For the first time in my life, I paid to watch people break-dance. It's not exactly my genre but when we talk about young good looking Korean b-boys doing their moves, it seems like a performance not to be missed. Unfortunately, I didn't read the synopsis carefully. Didn’t realise it was some sort of b-boy moves meets Charlie Chaplin-esque slapstick. As such, I didn’t see as much dance as I hope for. For an hour or so, I had to sit through the fantasy plot with minimum break-dance moves. Only the last 30 minutes after the musical was over, did I truly enjoy the show. That’s when the real dance move began… Overall, it's not too bad. It's just that I was expecting much more... But I must say I’m pretty impressed by these fellas…

See them for yourselves…

I'm a convert!

2008-05-28T21:27:00.003+08:00

When I was in Primary 6, I had my first BCG injection. The first injection to test if there's a need to take a jab, was at the inner elbow. I remember it hurting a lot to the point that I teared. Then of course there was the actual jab on the arm. Ouch... I teared again.

That perhaps gave me the fear of injections. My subsequent encounters with injections were the second dosage of BCG at Sec 4, a tetanus jab for the OBS camp in JC1, a blood test for Hep B & C in university and subsequently an immunity jab two years ago. At all times, I feared the needles.. And because of that fear, muscular tension caused it to be more painful. The only comfort I got was that gentle squeeze of a familar hand or a smile or the fact that it was just a minor pain.. But the whole time round, I was embarrassed by the fact that I actually fear such pain at such a age and that there are many more things that are more painful.

But all that changed this year...

For the first time in my life, I told myself that I was acting up my fear and that everything is psychological. It's all in the mind. If I will myself to be free from pain, perhaps, it will just disappear. And so, for this year's medical check up, I told myself that I've gone through enough pain (physical and emotional) that this tiny prick is not going to affect me. I went in with an unnatural calm and ease.

Even one male teacher in front of me said that he's fearful of the needles... whether he was just teasing or not, I wasn't sure.. but somehow, his facial expression while he was having his jab revealed a real sense of fear.. which I found rather amusing.

Mine was after his... and I was so calm that it didn't really hurt at all. Even that initial prick was nothing. My composure and nonchalance were much to the horror of the male teacher who questioned if I was in pain. To spare his ego from being bruised along with his inner elbow, I lied that it was a little painful.

The whole time round, I wondered what happened. Why did it hurt so much before and why did I always needed a hand to hold when I had my previous jabs? Was I over-reacting and being needy and whiny just to have someone reassuring me that everything will be ok?

Perhaps, it's just mind over matter. Or perhaps, it was just a fluke that it didn't hurt.

To confirm that I really overcame my fear for injections, I decided to test it out one more time.

I recalled the time when my good friend in JC tried persuading me to donate blood with her when the drive came to our school. I refused. She was so keen on donating blood that she faked her weight by increasing it up by 1kg just so that she could donate (I guess back then, they weren't really that strict. Now, you have to weigh yourself in front of the staff). I missed my chance back then.

Today, I took that chance.

I went for my very first blood donation at SGH together with some colleagues of mine.

At the blood donation center, I was again trying to be calm but deep down I was rather excited, hoping that it wouldn't hurt and that I won't develop a phobia for needles again. But somehow, when I saw the room I was entering, it felt right...

And so it is, two injections, totally painless. Thickest needle I've seen thus far inserted to me but not as pain as I thought.

I am free!!! Free from fear. Free from having someone to be there for me when I go for my future jabs. Free from embarrassment

Though a rather insignificant thing in my life and to most people, it gave me new found hope together with my overseas trips & adventures, that I'm ready to embrace independence without fear and hate. I am also convinced that I'll most probably make a yearly blood donation from now onwards and convince others to do so.

Give blood, save lives....

P.S: In case anyone is wondering, the first picture was taken when I was in Melbourne.

American Idol Fever...

2008-05-22T00:37:00.006+08:00

First of all, I need to state that I do not normally watch American Idol. In fact, I have never followed closely any season of AI.

It was simply by chance that I caught the AI Season Marathon over the last long weekend. So from Friday to Monday night, I spent most of my waking hours watching AI, a sad indication that I have no life or rather I have no wish to jostle with the crowd during the holidays.

What made me continue watching was the amazing voice of 17 year old David Archuleta. It's so refreshing to watch him perform. He made me smile just hearing him sing. He's simply so pure...

My sis and I did a youtube search for him and found out that at 5 years old after his parents brought him to watch Les Miserables, he was able to sing all the songs in the musical. Age 5!!!!

And later, when he was 10, he won the Junior Singers competition on Star Search with this winning performance, which Kelly Clarkson also sang during her finals in the first AI.... Amazing..

My sis and I, two 20 plus 'women' started searching more and went gaga over these two clips...

This, in particular, is real sweet... awww ...wish I have a son like him...

We also chanced upon this video with poor lighting but hey, it's the voice that matters.... We thoroughly enjoyed his take on "Mary did you know".

I'm so glad that he did not lose his voice when he had his vocal paralysis back then. Thank God that he didn't. If not, the world would not be able to hear him sing.

I hope he wins. This is one talented, sweet-natured boy who plays the piano and sings so well... (I'm a sucker for guys who can play the piano well) And if he does win, I hope he doesn't change much like some of the young artistes of Hollywood. If I can vote, I'll definitely vote for him. He'll be the second person I vote for in such Idols show other than my ex-padawan, JK.

Then again, there's this hunch that the older David Cook will win due to the overall appeal. Whatever the case, the winner will be David.

And so it is, the finals is over. I'll just have to wait for tmw's results show.

Go David Archuleta....

Let it go...

2008-05-14T01:50:00.002+08:00

Let It Go

by Corrinne May

I think we've been here before
I recognize this place
I've seen the marks of confusion
wipe out a single sign of grace
And I don't want to play anymore
Not when the stakes are so high
So before we circle round once more
I'm gonna lay down,
Lay down my pride

Let it go, let it be
Don't waste all your emotion on this
tit-for-tat machine
Let it go, let it be
Let it go

I turn on the TV
and it screams out at me
Nothing seems to have changed
since the start of Adam and Eve
So we're waiting for the sky to fall
and we're buying brand new toys
But before we circle round once more
Can we lay down
Just lay down this pride

Let it go, let it be
Don't waste all your emotion on this
tit-for-tat machine
Let it go, let it be
Let it go
Don't go wasting your emotions
No one wins if we keep score
Let it go, let it be
Let it go

(I think we've been here before...)

My legs are full of scars... they are mainly self-induced.

I have a problem of scratching any mosquito bites or itch or scabs till they bleed.
Also, whenever I have a scratch or scrap in the knee from dance practices, I would open up the scab before the wound could fully heal. That causes more damage to the wound and creates a darker colouration to the scar. This also explains why my BCG scar is bigger than most people's. I was told by the nurse not to touch it but I never listened. I kept 'checking' if it's healed and in so doing, had an infection which caused a bigger than usual BCG scar on my arm.

All along I wasn't really conscious about that problem of mine until I was told recently to stop creating more wounds to myself. Just let go of that urge. Don't think about it. Let it heal. Don't agitate the skin any further cos if I don’t let go of that thought or that urge to scratch, I’ll end up hurting myself.

Let go, huh? How?

I've always had a problem with letting go. In fact, I seldom let go of things / memories / people etc. I let others do the letting go...

Today’s my one month anniversary of having my S.R.H.

She’s been serving me well, bringing me to all sorts of places to relive those moments at LPR, KRP, CV and EC, places I’ve stopped going because I didn’t have a car. And in a short span of 3 weeks, I hit my first 1000km.

As I look back at those times, I realised that while I have now changed, I still can’t let go.
There was a lot of self-doubt, the feeling of incompetence and being ostracised. That gradually changed as I started becoming more independent, not reacting to others' reactions, travelling to places that I’ve wanted to go, and yet, there’s a void. All because I can’t let go.

Was told that if I continue to hold on and dwell on the past, my present and future will be affected. I don’t wish that to happen. I fear I’ll be like Meredith Grey in Grey Anatomy, incapable of trusting anyone or even herself and eventually letting go of McDreamy.

I have to let it go... lay down my pride and not waste any emotion on this tit-for-tat machine. No one wins if we keep score

Let it go...

Let it be...

.
Like I always say, 'it's all in the mind'.

Let it go...

Marié Digby "Live" In Singapore

2008-05-09T22:24:00.001+08:00

Saw her by chance on Youtube last year. Was intrigued by this talented beauty who could sing, play the guitar & piano and compose songs. This gal shot herself to fame twenty minutes after first learning Rhianna's hit single, "Umbrella," last May. She basically propped her MacBook in her living room, filmed herself performing the song and put it on the Web via Youtube. I remember watching all her videos after that and even asking a friend to download her music on iTunes for me.

A year later, she's finally in town -- 9th and 10th May! I did think of going either to Zouk or Wisma to catch a glimpse of her.. Decided not to due to the never ending marking.. what a waste.

It's one of those.. so near, yet so far feeling.

Meanwhile, I can only 'see' her via Youtube.

Here are my favourites from her...

Her take on "Umbrella" by Rihanna

Her take on "Torn" by Natalie Imbruglia

Say it Again (Original)

Definitely, Maybe

2008-05-04T14:16:00.005+08:00

I'm alive!!! I'm alive!!! Definitely, Maybe?

Better make it clear before my ex-padawans think I'm dead.. Received a couple of messages from them asking if I'm ok... haha...

Been busy... (ah.. what a typical excuse by Singaporeans)

Again, I've been wanting to blog every time an idea comes to mind due to an event in my life. Sadly, I procrastinated and after awhile, the desire to blog that entry just dwindled off.

Still, there are some that stay in my mind. In view of my tight schedule to mark my padawan's mid-yr exam papers, I'm just going to blog the titles....

If you have a gd imagination, go figure the entries' details... haha..

Blog #1
Sundays with Grandma...

Blog #2
My first red hot love... my S.R.H

Blog #3
Definitely, Maybe, a male version of my life?

Blog #4
To Hanoi with love...

Blog #5
I'm back to rollerblading...

Blog #6
Marié Christina Digby

Blog #7
The departure of my long flowy hair...

So, will I be blogging them when I find the time?

Definitely, maybe...

Silent Vocals VI ~ In Motion

2008-03-21T10:07:00.005+08:00

7 months of training ...
7 minutes of performance...
A lifetime that I’ll cherish those moments...

Almost couldn't make it for this concert as there's no way I could take leave from school to attend the intensive rehearsals in the afternoons a few days before the concert. Also, I was supposed to have flown off to Vietnam for the Regional Teachers' Conference during that period of time. But God seemed to have planned it for me. Growth Camp happened to be during the two days of intensive rehearsals and on the actual day. And some time in January, I was told that the RTC is in April instead of March. And so it is, I was able to perform one last time at Victoria Theatre. Though it will most probably* be my last concert… it was a first for a number of events:

1st time I cried on stage after the concert

This shot was taken after we were both crying / tearing.

At the end of the concert, I thanked my dance instructress, Silvia Yong for all the years of training and encouragement. Though she started teaching me in 2004, she made a great impact in my dance ‘career’. I would have stopped dancing if not for her. Her contemporary style of choreography really spurred me to want to be a better dancer. She fascinates me with her seemingly impossible to do steps and her fast paced choreography that leaves me panting and gasping for air after each rehearsal. Watching her perform at the Esplanade truly inspires me to be like her too. She really showed her passion for dance through the sacrifices she has made and the courage to do something that many would not do. We dancers never fail to admire both Silvia and her husband... Together with her dancer and choreographer husband, Kuik Swee Boon, they look like the perfect couple.

For all that she has done for me, I am truly grateful. I teared when I told her I’ll miss being in her class and that I won’t be dancing for AJ anymore. She tried to persuade me, telling me that age is not a barrier, using herself as an example. It was a difficult decision but I have to move on. She teared as well.. And so, seeing her watery eyes, made me cry even more… so much so that my dance president who was standing beside us teared too.

Thank you Silvia. I'm eternally grateful.

1st time I joined the concert without any other dancers from my batch

These girls ranges fr 20 - 25 yrs old, with the exception of me of course.

One of the dance members from my batch is currently the teacher-in-charge of dance society in AJ. When she first emailed my batch to find out who were still keen on dancing for the concert, 3 dancers responded. And because I thought I won’t be the only one from my batch joining, I committed myself. Unfortunately, the other two really couldn’t find the time because the two are already mothers. And so, I was the only representative from my batch.

1st time I took photos for the concert

In a way, it was a dream come true to merge both my passion in dance and photography in one. It was rather hectic, rushing to put on make up, snapping pictures of the preparations, snapping pictures of the rehearsals, trying to recall the steps before my item is on and then performing. It was a not easy as it was my first dance shoot. It was also technically challenging because the lighting for this concert is rather dark. And it being my first time, I didn't know what settings to fix and what to look out for. For example, I kept running out of CF cards and battery life at the critical moments despite preparing all that in advance. Didn't expect two fully charged batteries to be flat so fast. There were also a lot of blur shots. Out of the 6 dances, I only managed to shoot 4 items. I had to get ready for my finale item. And because I was dancing in one item, I'll most probably not get any pictures of me dancing. That's the problem with taking photos and dancing at the same time. Sigh. Can't get the best of both worlds.

1st time I received so many flowers and gifts

Many thanks to those who came. I was really touched by your sweet gestures and your moral support. I think I’ll never receive so much flowers at one go in my life… Thank you all for everything.

1st time my dear friend attended my dance concert

I feel so elated that my ‘BFF’ could make it for my concert, having missed all my other concerts during previous years. It meant a lot to me for it will be my last concert. Thank you babe for coming.

My 6th dance alumni concert performance, Silent Vocals VI ~ In Motion, ended last night. Not that I’m biased but I feel that the choreography for this concert has reached a new high. The dance items were so technically challenging for amateur dancers like us but the dances did pushed us to level up our techniques. Would like to quote fr my batch’s dance president’s SMS after the concert: “Was very touched by you all as an audience cos only we know the hard work and sacrifices behind every performance. It was a very good show with high standards. Think the alumni was exceptionally impressive ;p” That message really stirred me up. I was very touched.

Some time ago in September 2007 when we first started training, we kept thinking that it was a long while more to this concert but as the months went by, we felt that time was not on our side. Even then, I was looking forward to the concert hoping it’ll come soon. Now that it is over, I wished it didn’t end. It was a truly emotional night for me because at the back of my mind, I knew it would be my last (or rather I’ll try very hard to make it my last). Having been in the dance alumni from 1998 to 2008, I think it is about time I move on. 10 years seem to be an ‘overstay’. As it is, I’m officially the longest serving AJ dance alumni member. It’s kind of odd going back to Anderson JC seeing all the younger college students, feeling somewhat old. Yet, this place was like a home to me. A place I’m familiar with. A place where my passion for dance was ignited. A place where I could be completely at ease with my fellow dancers.

I was flipping through my dance photo albums and looking back at those moments, from training for SYF, performing in Korea, my first alumni concert in the school hall to the various concerts held in Kallang Theatre and Victoria theatre. It’s amazing how the camaraderie is so strong among the dancers who come from different batches… Year after year, I see familiar faces and sometimes new ones but in each of them, I feel their passion for dance, their dedication to the group and their talents and grace during performance.

Now that it has finally ended, I can’t help but feel sad and lost… There was a sense of depression when I woke up this morning… There was a strong inertia to do my work and the rhythm of the music and sequence of the dance steps kept refreshing in my mind… I started to think of what I’ll miss and I’ve come up with these:

Bruises on my arms & legs – The only times when I get severely bruised are when I’m training for dance. It may seem that I’m some sort of sadist but I do like seeing the bruises as it is an indication that I went all out for the dance (though sometimes, it’s just because I was clumsy and failed to protect myself).

Vigorous training – Initially it was once a week. Then twice a week and towards the last two weeks, almost everyday. No matter how tired I get from working the whole day, I will suddenly be energized when I train… It’s odd how something so strenuous can lift my spirits up. It’s odd how my headaches or worries just melt away during trainings. I realised it is the motions and concentration during training that I find comfort & peace.

The smell of the LL (dance studio) and the school hall –The smell isn’t pleasant for sure… but I miss the times we try to avoid the smelly spots on the dance studio floor… and how we complained so many times but still continued to dance despite nothing done to rid the smell. One common habit is that we walk bare feet around AJ; in the studio, in the hall and even to the toilet. Black dusty feet have become a feature of being a dancer... I truly understand what some of my students feel when they have their 'illegal' shoes confiscated.

The messed up costumes – It seems that the tailor will always mess up the dance costumes, distorting the original designs and we have to always alter them last minute. We have no choice though because there are really very few tailors who do dance costumes in Singapore. And so, my fellow dancers and I came to a conclusion that not only must we be able to dance, we must be able to sew… to salvage our badly tailored costumes.

The roller coaster emotions - I'll definitely miss the excitement before performance & the feeling of sheer joy after the dance concert, knowing that everything was done right – This is a given. All dancers will never forget these moments. Neither would I.

Victoria Theatre – There’s something magical about VT. It’s small, old and yet charming. Of course I hope to perform at the Esplanade but VT is a familiar place to us. We know the ins and outs of that place. I’m really going to miss performing there.

Lastly, my fun-loving dancers & my sweet dance instructress – With the lame jokes we crack, there’s never a dull moment… we somehow enjoy being silly and we even laugh at our mistakes in our dance steps. But we have our serious sides especially nearing the concert when emotions flare up in even the most demure dancer. Our dance instructress has been ever so patient with us, sharing our sense of humour and always motivating us. I’m going to miss seeing them on a weekly basis but thankfully, with Facebook, we’ll somehow keep in touch… or rather ‘poke’.

And so, after Silent Vocals 6, I think I have to really retire… Don’t think I’m up for it anymore when 2010 comes. Moreover, my dance friends closer to my batch are also considering ‘retiring’ too. If that is really so, it will be a pity that I won’t be participating in Silent Vocals 7 which would have also been my 7th dance concert as a dance alumni member.

But I really have to move on…

And so, I’m closing this dance chapter with AJ dance as a dancer… but I’ll continue to help out in any way possible…

In March 2006, I blogged that I would take a bow and retire. I mapped out my dance ‘resume’
I think it's time I do a little update!

1996 -- JC 1 Dance Member
1997 -- SYF Dance (Gold) Performed in Dance Presentation Opening Night at Kallang / Represented S'pore to perform in Korea for the 3rd ASIAN Youth Festival
1998 -- Silent Vocals II (School Hall... Hey! That's our debut.. low budget then)
1999 -- Training & rehearsal for the next concert
2000 -- Silent Vocals III (NYP auditorium) (didn’t dance, just helped out in make up n lighting)
2001 -- Training & rehearsal for the next concert / Danced for the Alumni's 1st AGM + dinner + concert
2002 -- Silent Vocals IV (Alphaville auditorium - Brand new and free!! Why not?)
2003 -- Training & rehearsal for the next concert
2004 -- Colours of Emotion (Self-choreographed - Victoria Theatre) / Juvenescence (AJ's 20th Anniversary Concert - Kallang Theatre)
2005 -- Qi (七，棋，启，气) (Victoria Theatre)
2006 –- Received Appreciation Award during AJ's 22nd College Day / Silent Vocals V ~ The Kaleidoscope (Victoria Theatre) (1st time I was not involved accept to give moral support and watch the concert)
2007 -- Training & rehearsal for the next concert
2008 -- Silent Vocals VI ~ In Motion (Victoria Theatre)

7 months of training...
7 minutes of performance...

Truly amazing...Truly unforgettable... Truly emotional...

My sincere thanks to Silvia and my fellow dancers...
Thank you for making my final concert with AJ Dance alumni a memorable one...
20th March 2008.

* Note: While I’m deeply serious about retiring, I won’t hesitate to join if I know my other friends are dancing again or if the venue is at the Esplanade, but I know the chances are very slim.

What will happen from now till the next leap year?

2008-03-07T22:26:00.006+08:00

Ex padawan: Cher... you know when I saw Wong Li Lin in The Leap Years, she really reminded me of you.....

I watched The Leap Years last week... I really liked the show regardless the negative reviews, the inconsistencies in the movie as well as the disturbing idea that everyone in Singapore seems to be speaking with an American accent! It was a feel good movie... The soundtrack is good.. especially cos of the familiar songs by Corrinne May, and one very haunting piano piece by Ryuichi Sakamoto, Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence which I'm now trying to play on my piano...

I got to admit... I was really flattered when I heard my ex-padawan tell me I reminded her of that main character... haha.. not that I'm anywhere near her beauty, sassiness, and confidence... It's just that the character, Li-ann, played by Wong Li Lin, did remind me a little of myself...

A convent girl... An English teacher who heads the department at 28... A person who is willing to take chances... A person who waits...

Well, if what had happened to her in reel life after the age of 28 is any indication of how my real life will turn out to be, I can foresee this future....

I'll quit teaching at 32 to set up a book store and I'll be driving a cool Blue Mini Cooper... At 36, I'll marry a dashing foreigner with long flowy hair whom I meet once every four years... (haha.. alrighty Lady 28.. you are right... that Ananda guy is cute... I give up.. ) And at 48, this man of my life will recover from a stroke to be with me for the rest of my life... wahh.. how tragic.. yet bittersweet.

Then again.... who knows what will happen in the future... I wonder how my 'blue figure' would look like...

One of the quotes I remember the most from my O level literature Text is this:

The course of true love never did run smooth - a Midsummer's nights dream by William Shakespeare

Yup... how true... It's always hard to work for love...
Hmm... maybe I should just work for a Mini Cooper at 32!!!

Then again... who knows what will happen from now till the next leap year...

It's just 1.5 for now.. and I'm happy... SRH

I'm not Supergirl....

2008-02-26T22:45:00.004+08:00

L I T T L E . S U P E R . H E R O . G I R L

I feel like a little girl
Trying to conquer the whole wide world
Everybody wants a piece of me
And I just don't know where to turn
I've got work piled up to my head
All I want to do is jump into bed
And wash away my troubles with lemonade
Play hide and seek with the boy next door
Take a trip to Singapore and
Imagine how I'll make the world a better place

All I need is a good disguise
One where nobody can recognise
That I'm feeling so small
All I need is a secret weapon
I've gotta have faith
Zapping monsters into outer space
I'm gonna be a Superhero

Na-na-na-na-na-na Na-na-na-na-na-na-na Na-na-na-na-na-na-Yeah

If I were a little girl
Trying to clean up the whole wide world
I'd kick the bad boys back to school
Teach them fighting's just not cool
I'd give every kid a teddy bear
Turn starving people into millionaires
Break glass ceilings with dynamite
sprinkle a little sugar and spice
Turn the bullies that terrorize
Into pink poodles that bark, but don't bite

All I need is a good disguise
One where nobody can recognise
That I'm feeling so small
All I need is a secret weapon
I've gotta have faith
Zapping monsters into outer space
I'm gonna be a Superhero

Na-na-na-na-na-na Na-na-na-na-na-na-na Na-na-na-na-na-na-Yeah

Little Superhero Girl
Little Superhero Girl
Save me
Little Superhero Girl
Little Superhero Girl
Save me from myself ... I feel like a little girl
Trying to conquer the whole wide world

Been so busy that I don't even have time to take pics, blog, go out or do yoga...
Things have been pretty routine for me.... I can hardly breathe...

I'm not a supergirl / woman / hag etc...

I need help... I need air .... (Macbook Air also can!!)

I need to fly off somewhere....... and preferably somewhere far and preferably somewhere with snow... I'm trying to fulfill my as many of my resolutions for 2008 as possible... so far so good..

Meanwhile, I'm feeling guilty abt gg online... or even blogging this entry when there are tonnes of work unmarked... but I must at least jot down the topics that I wished to blog but do not have the time to......

And so, here it goes... 'entries-to-be' from an exhausted 'I-not-Supergirl'...

Ex-padawans' visit during CNY Celebrations

Sundays with Grandma...

Disappointment in my padawans who rather go for a longer detention than to attend an enrichment course

Upcoming dance performance... feeling real excited... It's going to be my last!!! Don't want it to end so soon...

First Car purchase story

2nd Car purchase story (yup... technically, I bought two cars in a month!)

Alrighty...

'I-not-Supergirl' signing off...

My Blueberry Nights...

2008-01-08T22:49:00.000+08:00

"The story of a woman who takes the long route instead of the short one to meet up with the man she loves." Wong Kar Wai.

As I looked up at the window, I realised I was on the wrong side......

Maybe one of them ran off with someone else. Maybe the feelings just went away....

The company is great, the movie is great and the cast is even greater....

You have two of the smartest hollywood actresses Rachel Weisz, who graduated from the University of Cambridge and the oh-so-pretty Natalie Portman (my fav Hollywood actress along with Charlize Theron & Ashley Judd) who graduated from Harvard University. And how not to watch the movie when eye-candy Jude Law is in it.. (though I try to ignore the fact that he's not exactly a faithful person in real life). It's always nice to see both Natalie & Jude act in the same movie. First, it was Cold Mountain, then Closer and now My Blueberry Nights.

To my amazement too, the movie features one of my fav singer, Norah Jones. It was her screen debut and I say she did a pretty good job. She sang "The Story" in the movie soundtrack which will be released in Feb. Looking forward to it...

But the thing that really caught my attention was that this movie was directed by Wong Kar Wai, who is directing his first feature length English-language film. This is one director whose movies I'm drawn to... Chungking Express, Days of Being Wild, In the Mood for love & 2046. There's something about his trademark stylistic direction that appeals to me (though it sometimes irks people who view it as draggy). But I see the beauty in slowly revealing the plot and really fleshing out the characters, bringing out the subtleties of their emotions till you connect with them, feel them and experience their 'reel'-ality.

Without reading the synopsis, I knew this is the kind of movie that I will watch.... This is the kind I know YOU will watch too. Perhaps, this is what YOU can do on your free Saturdays...

So what's this movie abt?? (Warning: Spoiler ahead)

It's a story about Elizabeth (Norah Jones) who upon her breakup, met a new friend, a soul-mate, a cafe owner (Jude Law) from a foreign land. Shortly after, without saying goodbye, she just left. She sets out on a journey without a destination, leaving behind a life of memories and her new friend, who relentlessly tried to contact her. Why did she leave then? Perhaps to search for something to mend her broken heart. To escape to the furthest places possible..... to avoid the pain... or to avoid making the same mistakes......

Interestingly, while she was waitressing her way through the various States (to save enough to buy herself a car), Elizabeth befriends others whose yearnings and sorrows are greater than hers. They include a troubled cop (David Strathairn) and his estranged wife (Rachel Weisz), and a down-on-her-luck gambler (Natalie Portman) with a reconciliation issue. Through them, Elizabeth begins to see her reflection in others... recognising the true depths of loneliness and emptiness, and that somehow, she is much luckier than them... And through her soul-searching journey, she begins to understand that she had discovered herself and delights in who she is...

After many many days of wandering, close to a year, she decided to go back...

....back for a blueberry pie ...

....back to the Blueberry Nights...

Elizabeth: So what's wrong with the Blueberry Pie?

Jeremy: There's nothing wrong with the Blueberry Pie, just people make other choices. You can't blame the Blueberry Pie, it's just... no one wants it.

Elizabeth: Wait! I want a piece.

As I looked up at the window, I realised I was on the wrong side of the road. I took the longest time to get across that road. But it's not how long it takes to get across that matters, but who's waiting on the other side that really does...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Goodbye doesn't always mean the end. Sometimes, it means a new beginning.

~ Elizabeth~

Goodbye 2007... Hello 2008!

2008-01-01T03:12:00.000+08:00

I had an entry entitled 'Goodbye 2005... Hello 2006! ... Don't ever look back...' . But an oldman advised me to "actually do look back as reflecting upon the past gives more meaning to what's happening now and hope for the future". And hence for 2008, I shall do just that. I guess in life's journey, everything happens for a reason. And I'm slowly seeing the reasons...

2007 had been a good year... perhaps I'm biased... after all, it contains my fav number 7.

I managed to visit 3 countries (my most ever) in one year.... Australia, Holland & France...

I also did something that I swore I would stop after 2005. I went back to dancing after a 2-year hiatus and I'm loving it despite all the bruises on my knees (hmm..a sign of sadomasochism..)

My newly accuired hobby which has been taking up much of my time.. (noooo not Facebook!) has shown improvement too. Really enjoyed my photography trips... very addictive... In fact, I'm planning for June 2008's trip. Hmm.. now all I need is an assistant to help carry my gears.. keke!

I'm also enjoying and becoming more confident in what I do. In fact, in Jul 2008, it'll be 7 years since I joined the Jedi Knighthood.. Time seems to pass so fast especially when you are enjoying them...

So what do I hope for in 2008...

Here are my Top 10 resolutions for 2008 which were selected from a few hundred statements in Facebook:

#1 Build a Snowman...
Haha.. the reason is that I failed thrice in my attempts to see snow. Didn't manage to do that when I was in Nepal during winter, in Melbourne during winter, and in France during winter. I always missed them by a week or so. This 2008, I'll make sure I can definitely find enough snow to build myself a real snowman.

#2 Buy a car
Was so close to getting a Yellow Beetle which was sparked by the movie Transformer.. haha.. lame I know. I was so in loved with Bumble Bee (BB) that I told myself I had to get a yellow car. And the best looking yellow car would, without a doubt, be the Yellow Beetle. I was even planning to force change it's species from a Beetle to a Bee. Alas, it was not meant to be mine... I will have to look for another one more suited for me, give up my BB and let others have a chance to own it.

#3 Wake up earlier
I'm an insomniac. I can't sleep earlier than 2am.. and lately 5am. As such, I tend to wake up late. I've been late for so many morning meetings & dance pracs this holidays. With the school term starting in just two days, I've yet to regulate my sleep patterns. And even if I don't, may I still be able to wake up in time for assembly.

#4 Take more pictures
I enjoy capturing the moments and the sights. But I find that I'm stagnating because I don't seem to go beyond what I normally shoot. I'm so hesistant at doing street photography or capturing portaits of strangers. Also, despite getting my macro lens, I haven't been able to do any macro shots at the Botanical Gardens. Hopefully, 2008 will give me more courage to take pics of people when I'm overseas and that I may see my pic's quality move up a notch.

#5 Get in shape
I was once 40kg when I was in Sec 4 and if I were to see my weight as a share price, I would say that it has been 'bullish' ever since. I'm seeing pregnant women looking slimmer than me. So sad.. I must get in shape. I don't want to be the biggest person on stage in March. 3 more months!!! Exercise!!! Exercise!!! Exercise!!!

#6 Dance and never stop flying
When I saw this statement in facebook, I wonder what that resolution really meant. Seems like an odd combination but I clicked it anyway, and decided to interpret it in my own way. As I said before, I've been dancing since 1996. I've always tried to get my close secondary school friends to attend my performance by saying, "It is the LAST time I'm performing. Watch lah!!!" Haha.. but the last was never the last. But I really meant what I said... I always told myself that I'll be too old to dance and hence would most probably stop. Amazingly, I haven't. But I'm pretty sure that this time round, it would be my ABSOLUTE LAST! Can't imagine me dancing at age 30 amongst the nubile 19 - 25 yr olds. As for the never stop flying, I hope it'll be the case every year. That I get to fly to different places and travel at least twice a year whatever the cost. It used to be free.. but.. oh well..

#7 Move on
Aptly, "move on" is randomly placed as the 7th resolution. Indeed, I shall. For the greater good and for my sanity.

#8 Worry less
I tend to worry be it for my family members, for my friends, for my padawans, for my exams, for my future etc... On hindsight, I feel that it stems from a lack of faith in God, that I do not trust that He'll take care of things at the appropriate time. And perhaps the need in me to be in control.... as with most Leos... When one is not in control, one becomes uncertain with what's going to happen next. And with that uncertainty, there tends to be a cause for worrying. "Worry less" is one resolution I find the hardest to accomplish. After so many years of being the 'kan cheong spider' sort, I don't know how to stop worrying. Hey.. but the resolution is "worry less"... haha.. so it can be considered fulfilled even if I worry, so long as it is lesser than 2007's worries!

#9 Be happy
; p ..... No problemo... just don't make me angry.. haha..

#10 Ssssshhhh... it's a secret.
If it's revealed, it may not happen. I'll keep fighting for it and hopefully, it'll finally happen.

Have hope....

旅行的意义

2007-12-07T21:38:00.000+08:00

Very soon I'll be up there for the longest period of time ever. Never flew for such a long duration and so far in my life... There's always a first. Always thought I would have a chance to fly a lot in the past, but it never happened. So perhaps, I'm doing a make-up for it.

So, what's the significance of my travel this time?

这就是我旅行的意义...

旅行的意义

你看过了许多美景
你看过了许多美女
你迷失在地图上
每一道短暂的光阴
你品尝了夜的巴黎
你踏过下雪的北京
你熟记书本里
每一句你最爱的真理
却说不出你爱我的原因
却说不出你欣赏我哪一种表情
却说不出在什么场合我曾让你动心
说不出离开的原因

你累计了许多飞行
你用心挑选纪念品
你收集了地图上
每一次的风和日丽
你拥抱热情的岛屿
你埋葬记忆的土耳其
你流连电影里美丽的不真实的场景
却说不出你爱我的原因
却说不出你欣赏我哪一种表情
却说不出在什么场合我曾让你分心
说不出旅行的意义

你勉强说出你爱我的原因
却说不出你欣赏我哪一种表情
却说不出在什么场合我曾让你动心
说不出旅行的意义
勉强说出你为我寄出的每一封信
都是你离开的原因
bb你离开我
就是旅行的意义

Original post 3rd October 07

2 Days in Paris... or more

2007-11-30T22:35:00.000+08:00

1995

2004

2007

First it was Before Sunrise

~ Can the greatest romance of your life last only one night? ~

*9 years later , it was Before Sunset

~ What if you had a second chance with the one that got away? ~

and now, it is 2 Days in Paris....

The lead actor may have changed from the ever so handsome Ethan Hawke (though I can't say much abt his adulterous behaviour) but I'm just glad Julie Delpy is still the lead actress.

Her natural girlie charm never fails to bring out the romance in her movies which are often set in Paris. It is no wonder that I dream of being there one day, walking the same lanes and going down the same Seine River.
But in all three movies, it's not the lovey dovey scenes that captivate me...(in fact, there were not many of those scenes) Rather, it's the intense and fast-paced conversations that make me love all three movies. I think it is a blessing to be able to find someone whom you can really talk to... to really share each other's opinions without any inhibitions and to engage each other's minds.

Before Sunrise

I remember the first time I watched Before Sunrise, I was thinking how impossible it was for two people from different parts of the world to meet and click, just like that. But in the movie, they did. Their chance encounter led to a powerful meeting of hearts and minds. Such great chemistry is hard to come by and yet, the guy left it to chance and fate by leaving without exchanging numbers. They just made a promise to meet at the train station a year later which they failed to because of some unforseen circumstances. So frustrating. How could Jesse (acted by Ethan Hawke)have left it to chance?

Before Sunset

Nevertheless, life went on. He got married and had a kid. And she's attached. After nine long years, they met by chance again but the chemistry never seemed to have faded. Jesse was given a second chance with the one that got away? What would he do? What could he do even? Nothing... but if he wanted to act according to his heart, it would be unforgivable too.... One can't help but feel the loss and think about the 'could have-s' and the 'what if-s'. But what is more frustrating, is the ending. There seems to be no closure. The plot is just left hanging. But like some things in life, there are no closures.

Senseless deaths of young people. Leaving without saying goodbye. Sudden change of hearts.

2 Days in Paris

And so, when 2 Days in Paris was screened, I knew I needed to watch it for some alternative closure of sorts, some kind of continuation, considering the reviews said that it is possible to draw parallels between Before Sunrise/Before Sunset and 2 Days in Paris. I'm glad the leading man has changed. This new character seemed to be more level headed, more committed and seemed to love Julie's character more by not leaving things to chance. And there was at least a closure at the end of the movie.... unlike the other two.

Having watched all the romantic movies set in Paris, I'm not foolish to think that it is really like that. I know enough to know that the City of Love is ironically not as romantic as it seems. I've been asking around lately about what's going on in Paris with the riots and strikes, asking 7 who have been there and 3 who live there. Here's what they told me:

Strikes are very common. Currently, transport may be a problem as transportation worker strikes may occur any time.
Rioting used to consist of youths throwing cobblestones/rocks but now, the youths are starting to use shotguns. Part of the reason for rioting is due to the poverty at the suburbs. And in the latest clash, two teenagers were killed.
Some men, either drunk or jobless would just hug you from behind in broad daylight. My friend had that experience and she had to struggle to free herself. She's abt 1.7m and abt twice my size..She said looking at my size, it'll be harder to break free. Haiz...
Men like to close in on tourists especially Asians girls and keep saying Konichiwa as if all Asians are Japanese.
Some would grope. Another friend's grandma's butt was groped even!!!
Pick-pocketing is common, done very blatantly and no one bothers to help. Pick-pockets target tourists on the Metro so one must be careful when riding a train alone.
Some people pee at the Metro stations platforms (MRT equivalent) so it really stinks at some stations.
Don't look like a tourist. Don't read maps publicly as people may offer help.. but usually to get close enough to do something bad.
Never believe people in plain clothes who claim that they are police and want to check your bag/passport. My sis' friends were stopped by such people and they innocently did as they were told. In the end, their stuff were stolen and no one came to help them.
Alarm doesn't work cos no one bothers to help. Pepper spray and stunt guns may work but you have to buy them in Amsterdam and you must learn to use them properly in case it backfires.
In crowded lifts, some pickpockets would use a knife to cut one's backpack and retrieve whatever they can. My friend had her stuff stolen in the lift going down the Eiffel Tower. And when she tried to stop that fella, he just ran out of the lift and nobody helped.
If you try to report the crime to the police, they may pretend that they don't understand English and call for a translator and just drag your time there at the station. At the end of it all, nothing is usually done but the aim is to just get the report in order to claim some amount from your insurance.
Stay off certain territories. Asians are not welcome at some pubs. One can forget abt gg to Cuban lanes. A friend who accidentally entered one cuban club were chased by 3 big burly men. They managed to stop a car to hitch a ride but the men kept on banging the car boot till the driver drove off. Scary.
Go to shops that have lock down grills.. One friend was shopping when the riots occured. The shops immediately activated the grill which lock down the shop letting no one in and no one out till it was calmer outside.
Stay in hotels that have security codes that changes everyday.
Don't carry you DSLR in your hand. Snatch theives are known to snatch and run away with the camera.
Forget about driving or jaywalking. Traffic is a killer.. and drivers are very rude.

Wow.. Se7enteen already!!!

A Parisian was saddened that I heard so many nasty stuff abt their city. She said it's not as bad as I've heard. Still, knowing all these should serve as a precaution. It should help anyone who wants to go to Paris to be more alert but not to the point of being paranoid. And it definitely shouldn't be a deterrence to visit Paris.

I hope one day, I'll be able to walk down the places I saw in Before Sunset, Before Sunrise and experience at least 2 Days in Paris, fulfilling a desire that I had some 4 years ago.

Footnote:

*9 years later : For those who have been asking why 7 years later, the answer is simple. It started with Before Sunset's synopsis which stated 9 years later. It bore the symbolism of fate and hope and so I started using it. It later became 7 years later because of another movie (ALLL) which also stated 7 years later in the synopsis. So eversince, I decided to just stay with 7 years later cos it was my favourite number anyway. Lame but at least the 'mystery' is solved!

Hey There.....

2007-11-13T21:41:00.000+08:00

"Hey there Delilah" by Plain White T

Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl, tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice, it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me, girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You'll know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This one's for you

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Emotions in Motion

2007-11-11T02:07:00.000+08:00

Just came back from one of my dancers' wedding dinner. Beautiful. My junior, Peiru and one of our coaches, Peter, actually did a couple dance for the Bride & Groom, before their march-in. Being at a table full of ex-ajcian dancers + coach, we really reminisced non-stop. As expected, we talked abt the thing that binds us... DANCE. In the course of the discussion, I found out that I was not the only one who was absolutely in love with Emotions in Motion (affectionally known as the "balloon dance") which we performed at the 20th Anniversary AJC Concert. Silly Nicole and Chien Ning told me that they cried watching their own performance because it was so touching... I simply couldn't comprehend.... but just now when I saw the uploaded video, I understood why.

Personally, it was by far the most techinically challenging piece and the most flesh-revealing piece. It was also the one which had the most interferring props (balloons & chairs) , the one that gave me the most bruises due to the hard knocks on the chair and floor and the one with the most 感人的 music. Embeded in that dance was also the notion that a person carries many emotions- controlled at times, haphazard at times - ups and downs. I'll always remember that performance because it was my most flawless piece. I was so worried abt one step which involved doing a cartwheel on a chair.. but when it was executed properly, in sync with the rest, I was totally exhilarated.

Perhaps, it was because I was only doing one dance for that concert which allowed me the time to concentrate and to polish the steps. And so, for the upcoming concert, I'm wondering if I should back out from one of the dances. I already have too many things on my plate and training for 2 dance items seems quite impossible. I have to make the decision fast before Silva starts to do her choreography and positioning. Arrghhh...

Sometimes I wish I could perform certain dances from the past again, simply because it was so beautifully choreographed and simply because I need not learn from scratch. My batch of dancers still remembers the key steps of our SYF piece which was performed back in '97. GOSH! But then, I'm constantly reminded by situations and people around me that I have to move on. There will be more dances to come, more concerts to perform for ( I hope.. I think they are gg to kick me out fr the Alumni for staying in there too long) and greater challenges ahead as age catches up with me. But I will move on and perform the new pieces.

Yeah... am I 'on the move'?! Not too sure about that. But one thing for sure, my emotions are now in motion.... depressed, yearning, hopeful, excited, worried, cheerful, scared.....

For You A Thousand Times Over....

2007-11-05T02:08:00.000+08:00

I'll never forget this quote fr The Kite Runner.........

"FOR YOU A THOUSAND TIMES OVER"

I bought the book some time at the beginning of this year.. But it just sat there on my desk... patiently waiting for me to finish my other work, read finish my other books... patiently waiting for me to pick it up.

After 7 mths, I finally did. And what it gave me was a touching and unique story...a page-turner with narrative techniques that inspire me to use them to teach .....a story that left me crying twice and I'm not even half-way through..

I finally found my cure to FB (or at least somewhat)... It's this story.

A story of betrayal and redemption.... something so familar... even as the story is set in the final days of Afghanistan’s monarchy to the days of the Taliban reign.

This story tells of how the friendship between the two boys becomes changed forever. It is a story where the antagonist pushes away his friend by being mean. The friend who said the above quote to him as a sign of his loyalty and the very person whom he had ruined. The redeeming part which I've yet to read, would be the antagonist's attempts to break his silence and guilt by his returning and by his redemption.

It got me so hooked that I missed my train stop by two stations. Yet, I'm struggling to find the time to finish this book. I'm only at chapter 11 out of 25. And I'm hesitant to read the ending after Lady28 gave me a 'preview' to it.... I'm still hopeful that things will eventually work out..

Perhaps, it's a timely thing to read it after many months since the purchase of the book...I found out recently that the story was made into a movie... Even though I know movies are usually less intense than the books, I'm still glad that the movie is coming out soon... As I was watching the trailer, my goosebumps just rose along with my emotions... I tell myself that I have to read finish the book before the release date.. slated for 14 Dec. Hopefully, it's out in the theatres in Europe by then...

Facebook

2007-10-14T15:30:00.000+08:00

Old Poet was the first... I said NO

Dearie was second.. I said NO

Gentle Krytonite was next ... I said NO

Lady 28 was the last... I told myself.. What the heck! I'll just try and maybe deactivate like what I did with Friendster, Multiply and MySpace.

Now, I'm hooked, neglecting my Flickr and my blog.. keke.. Thanks a lot ah.. Lady 28.

But it's amazing how many people from the past I'm making contact with, from those who sat beside me in class in primary school, to those who took the bus home with me. And it's amazing how after so many years, you find out that friend A from primary school knows friend B fr Uni. I've also come to a conclusion that a lot of my peers in Marymount are living overseas. Those who may not have done well for O's are now doing so well overseas. Goes to show that academic results are not everything. It's your attitude and your fighting spirit that matter. There's one who quit teaching in S'pore to teach in Japan. There are a few lawyers overseas. There are people I know in London, Hongkong, China, Australia and various parts of the USA. And when I look at them now, I see that same spirit saw in them years ago. MCS was a place that made us unique. We may not have excellent academic results but we have all made it, for some even better than those who go by the book. Evidently, these are the common threads that are visible in us... vocal, adventurous, sharp, independent, free-spirited, defiant (gd and bad).

I may have gone by the book for far too long. But now I'm slowly breaking free...

Thank you Facebook!

Conversations @ AJ

2007-09-29T20:07:00.000+08:00

This afternoon at the end of dance practice (Yes.. I didn't go hiking as some thought I did... ), I met my JC's 'first-3mths' GP tutor.. Larry.. Yup.. I now call him by name since we are technically colleagues under the same big umbrella called MOE.

The brief conversation went something like that:

L: Huh... Why are you back?

Moi: I never left...

L: Yah.. I noticed.. when were you here since..

Moi: 96.. (chuckle... embarassed)

L: So why are you back?

Moi: Dance concert in March..

L: Wow... (speechless)

Moi: I think AJ ought to give me some long service award. (Eh.. but they did.. on my 8th yr as a dance alumni.. http://sevenyrslater.blogspot.com/2006/05/non-mihi-solum.html)

L: Yar.. I think you should talk to the prinicpal about it...

Yeap.. practice has started but I'm not sure if I can commit. It seems ridiculous to juggle all the stuff that I'm having on my plate.. It's overflowing and I'm wondering if I can cope without shortening my lifespan. But I don't know how to let go (as always) ... so what do I have and how should I prioritise:

Padawans whom I'm deeply sorry for not marking your work on time.
New portfolio which is not easy to handle and can sometimes be a lonely job. Though I sometimes give others the impression that I would like to be alone, I actually don't and I hate it.
Grandma... Sundays with my grandma has become a norm...
Close friends.... Have been recently gg to 3 of my gf's homes. They all have wonderful families and adorable kids.. It's really a joy to babysit for them but I do get envious seeing them relax at home as "home-makers" which was actually my 'ambition' when I was in Secondary School... other than Architect and Civil & Structural Engineer.. haha..
Yoga which I seem to hv stopped gg.. hence the "excesses" as someone aptly put it across to me.. sobs..
Photography... I've rejected a few flickr outings cos of work.. but I so wanna go.. and my hard disk is full of untouched and un-uploaded pics which are just sitting there, taking up space.
Dancing... recently, there's this affinity to call it lamsing..
Tuition for my cousin who'll be Sec 4 next year. I took her since she was in Sec 2 and I can't just drop her in her final year, can I?
School magazine.. I seem to be stuck with that. How do I get out? My first magazine was created in my 4th month in Simpleville. 2002 (idea was taken from a Savannah condo's showhouse advertisement), 2003 (Students' artwork), 2005 (5 series concept - idea taken from VJ's banner), 2006 (Garden concept), 2007 (poster concept - idea taken from Jing) I only had a breather in 2004 when Pinkiemonkie took over that year (close up shot of badge) but I was doing the School Official Opening Ceremony magazine .. hmm it wasn't really a break huh?
Something that I look forward to and I'll put aside all things for....
Travelling.. which I'll squeeze in by hook or by crook.. even it is for 9 short days this time.
2nd M Ed course all the way till 7 Dec and the 3rd course starting Jan till Mar which means my assignment will be due around the time of the dance concert too.
Microsoft Regional Innovative Teachers’ Conference 2008 in Vietnam just 3 days after the dance concert.. which means I have to struggle between dance rehearsals, M Ed course assignment and presentation preparation for the conference... (Yes.. contrary to what was conveyed, I'm not gg there for a holiday but to work and present which is really unnerving for me.. I do fear presenting let alone presenting to foreigners.. )

Arrrgghhh.... 13 things to do! Should I just let go the dance?

.
.

We Could be Together..

2007-09-05T12:08:00.001+08:00

A classic song by Debbie Gibson, a singer from my 7 series era...

I'll never forget the first time I heard this song. It was a Primary 5 campfire held at NACTI campsite, South Buona Vista area. My team leader, Zanny taught us this song for our group's campfire performance. I can even remember the dance steps... haha... I'm amazed!!!!
But it's kind of hard to forget... cos our juvenile steps were practically a series of charades to the lyrics... haha..

For example:
"If you say 'Jump', I'll say how high" , the step involved was a series of jumps ..
"If you said "Run!" I'd run and fly", the steps involved were running on the spot followed by a flying action...

Come on .. we were only primary 5. ;p

Why the sudden mention of this song? Was marking a whole stack of Prelim paper 1 (can't take it.. stories are too unrealistic) , got bored... kept fidgeting.. maybe I should go out and mark...

I had the radio switched on in the background. Heard this familar but seldom heard tune and felt nostalgic, coupled with the fact that 796 is approaching.. So apt!

There should be more modern songs like this... clean... happy... cheerful... hopeful...

We Could be Together

by Debbie Gibson

If I were an only child

I would be a lonely child

But baby we've got nothing to lose

I'm standing tall in my own shoes

I'll take this chance

I'll make this choice

I'll right this wrong

I'll raise my voice

If it means

We'll be together for a while

I have never had a doubt

But for you I'll take time out

I'll push his love far away from me

And then I'll be completely free

I'll give up my security

For just the possibility

That we could be together for a while

CHORUS

If you said, "Jump!" I'd say, "How high?"

If you said, "Run!" I'd run and fly

Just for the chance

Just for the moment

Should the moment pass us by

And if you ask once, I'll tell you twice

I'll ignore the world's advice

If we could be together for a while

END OF CHORUS

I am taken by your strength

I've thought about it at great length

I thought that I was happy now

But there are things that I found out

Happiness means greater things

I'll sit here 'til that telephone rings

Then we could be together for a while.

CHORUS

BRIDGE:

Wait'll I tell my guy (wait'll I tell)

Wait'll I tell my other friends

They'll all think I'm crazy-And you know what?

That depends...'cause I'm crazy in love

With you

And everyone's best won't do

They'll say my hopes

Will not come true

But I'm taking the chance

Because you only live once-Only live once (only live once)

And...If you said, "Jump!" I'd say, "How high?"

If you said, "Run!" You know I'd fly

Just for the chance

Just for the moment

Should the moment pass us by

And if you ask once, I'll tell you twice

I'll ignore the world's advice

If we could be together for a while

BRIDGE:

There are no guarantees

But if it means

There's even a possibility

Then I'll give up whatever it takes

I know I've made some mistakes before

It may be just another closed door

But we could be together for a while

If you said, "Jump!" I'd say, "How high?"

If you said, "Run!" I'd run and fly

Just for the chance

Just for the moment

Should the moment pass us by

Ask me once, I'll tell you twice,

You know I'll ignore the world's advice

If we could be together for a while

CHORUS

Don't you know that we could be together for a while?

4 days

天堂到地离我多远?

2007-09-04T23:59:00.000+08:00

Just finished watching a chinese documentary on Channel U. It's a travelogue on Lhasa... The chinese phrase was said by the host, Guo Liang at the end of the journey. It was a trip that left him pondering on the depth of the devotees' devotions and how far heaven is.

A very compelling travelogue indeed...

Perhaps it's time I plan for my next trip.... some place where I'll ponder this question too...

Perhaps Lhasa.. Perhaps Den Haag.. before it gets sunken..

Pic by Noregt

Amazing Grace..

2007-09-03T00:51:00.000+08:00

An ex-padawan gave me this link... Though I watched the movie (which was free for teachers) I didn't know about this MTV till now.. I did blog about that movie though in a previous entry.
The true story bears great significance but it may not impact us as much as it is remote to us in terms of time and country.

This morning, I watched another free movie meant for teachers. I guess teaching has it's perks in this sense... I've been watching a number of free educational movies this year... Freedom Writers, Amazing Grace, Artic Tale, and Hurricane on the Bayou @ Omni-max theatre (as part of Teachers' Day's goodie.. free offer for teachers last till 4th Sept.. so hurry!!).

Hurricane on the Bayou, is a timely film which shows audience how Louisiana was like before, during and after the unprecedented devastation of Hurricane Katrina. The thing that struck me was that one of the reasons for that strong hurricane was the rapidly disappearing wetlands which served as New Orleans' first line of defence against deadly storms. I didn't know about that at all. It wasn't really emphasised in the papers. According to the U.S. Geological Survey, the wetlands are vanishing at an astonishing rate of 4046sq meters every 38 minutes. And why did the wetland disappear?? Need I say it?
.
Human's indifference to preserving the envrionment.
Human's convenience & greed at the expense of the environment.
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Again, it is a true story that may seem remote to us in terms of time and country. Frankly, I read about the diaster and seen the footages but other than feeling sorry and uttering a little prayer for them, I don't think I did anything more. Yet, watching the movie this morning stirs up emotions once again and made me wonder what we can do to stop all these environmental disasters from happening when it could have been prevented.
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Perhaps, through education, we can one day convince the current and future generation the importance to put our environment and humanity before other secondary wants such as wealth and convenience.
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Looking at today's article on the latest complaints by house owners of places surrounded by enblocs esates, I felt a little relieved since one of the problem areas, Telok Kurau Lor N, was a place where I briefly stayed. However, all that unhappiness could have been prevented. Don't you think it is senseless to tear down perfectly good houses and condominums just to build new ones and sell. That's such a gross waste of building materials, especially the sand and granite. Couldn't they just find some other place to build it? Yeah yeah.. location is everything. A developer can earn more if the location is right. So I guess it's "ok" to remove more sand from other countries' islands and more granite from quarries.
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What will it take for all to realise that wealth and convenience are not everything?
What will it take for people to be less selfish and more giving?
What will it take for us to be less mean to others?
What will it take for us all to give life rather than take lives?
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Ans: Amazing Grace.
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Grace (noun) fr http://www.dictionary.com/
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1. (Christian theology) a state of sanctification by God; the state of one who is under such divine influence; "the conception of grace developed alongside the conception of sin"; "it was debated whether saving grace could be obtained outside the membership of the church"; "the Virgin lived in a state of grace"
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2. elegance and beauty of movement or expression; "a beautiful figure which she used in subtle movements of unparalleled grace"

3. a sense of propriety and consideration for others; "a place where the company of others must be accepted with good grace"
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4. a disposition of kindness and compassion; "the victor's grace in treating the vanquished"
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5. (Greek mythology) one of three sisters who were the givers of beauty and charm; a favorite subject for sculptors
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6. a short prayer of thanks before a meal; "their youngest son said grace"

7. (Christian theology) the free and unmerited favor or beneficence of God
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Conversations with Corrinne May...

2007-08-31T02:20:00.000+08:00

In two days, I would have attended three interviews.. This afternoon, I was interviewed... And just now, I watched Corrinne May in person being interviewed. And tomorrow, I'll be interviewed again but this time by Fr. Anthony regarding my A.

Of the three interviews, I like the one with Corrinne May the best.. (of course!) I've never been a fan of anyone. Never got any CDs signed or autograph from a celebrity...

Tonight, it was my first...

I wouldn't say I'm her ardent fan.. but I have to admit that her songs took me through the past 3 years of my life.

Songs from her first album brought me joy when the times were good

(Mr Beasley, All that I need)

... and when it took a turn, the second album took me through my toughest times

(Angel in Disguise, Free, Safe in a Crazy World)

... and now that I'm at peace, I feel comfort in her third album

(Shelter, Beautiful Seed, Five Loaves & Two Fishes, 33)

It is as if I was journeying with her through her music... I'm so glad to have been introduced by someone to her music.

And more thankful that the CANA Catholic Centre organised this Conversations with Corrinne May to hear her talk about her faith journey and the inspirations behind the songs she writes...

She's definitely a beautiful seed herself.. She reminded me that despite all our flaws and mistakes, we will still be loved.. and with God in the centre of our life, we'll be able to move on...

Other than asking her questions, she performed three songs. Beautiful Seed, Five Loaves and Two Fishes and Happy Birthday. For the third song, a guy in the audience actually requested to accompany her on his guitar. I guess he had been practising the sections that he composed to compliment her keyboard music.. He did it real well like o&o.

It's strange how things work in life.... Just two weeks ago, I was "complaining" in my previous blog entry how I never got to watch her perform except for that one time... And tonight, I had the chance to not only hear her perform 3 metres away from me and get her to sign my 2 albums, I also got to chat with her and will probably be emailing her.

I guess the learning point is this.. when things do not go your way, don't be too quick to condemn the situation, the people around you or yourself.

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON

Even Corrinne said so herself during the interview. Given time and prayer, things may work out for the better.

And I believe so....

Dreams are what we make them to be.

There is hope in every heartbeat.

Tiny as it seems. You're a beautiful seed.

Every hope, every power,

lies in the heart of a seed that flowers.

Intertwined all across the land.

We're all seeds in the maker's hand.

End Lyrics from Beautiful Seed by Corrinne May

Beautiful Seed...

2007-08-14T23:50:00.000+08:00

"I think that a seed is a wonderful metaphor for our lives. We are all like seeds. Seeds grow unseen in the soil and then sprout, and some seed become the biggest, most majestic trees and others grow to eventually bear wonderful fruit, and yet others, grow to provide shade. We are like trees. When we are in our mother's womb, no one can see us growing, but we are there. And all the potential for our lives is present in that moment, small as we are at that point in our lives, we are who we are now because of what we've gone through. And just knowing that, makes me sad to read about the increasing numbers of abortions that occur. People have forgotten that all the potential for life comes from something small, seemingly insignificant, seemingly lifeless."

~ Corrinne May~

There are only two Singaporean singers whom I really admire and would make it a point to buy their CDs or concerts or musicals.

Kit Chan is the first... The other is Corrinne May... Like Kit Chan, I hope one day, Corrinne will get to sing the National Day theme song... I'll be so proud of her..

Currently, Beautiful Seed (Corrinne May's new album) keeps the barks away (Refer to Lesson#3). It puts me to sleep, it gives me a sense of peace, it brings me comfort, tears and warmth.

It's amazing how each of her three albums has songs which speak to me and perhaps, to all her other listeners as well...

I attended only one of her concert so far and I'm sad that I missed her other concerts. Not once, not twice but thrice... haiz... I missed the Jan '06 concert, Dec '06 Christmas Concert, and now the Aug '07 concert. I didn't manage to get her concert tickets. It sold out too quickly.... I need to be on some mailing list or something. Don't understand why the rest always snap up the tickets so quickly... Or it could be just me...

As always, wrong timing...

Nevertheless, I'll wait..... waited for around two years already.

Her songs are simple, down to earth, emotional and spiritual, a reflection of who I wish to be.

Each song has a story.

And that's what life is. A story.

Every moment of our lives is a chapter. A turning point. We never know how the plot will unfold.

Only God knows.

We just got to continue on to see what our story will be.... and perhaps we will finally find our happy ending :p

Meanwhile, here's the lyrics to my favourite song in Beautiful Seed. It bears great meaning.

But I prefer the 'Cherry Blossom edition' better.

Couldn't find it though....

But like in life, we always have to make do with what we have, don't we?

Can't get everything that we want, right?

Shelter

Written by Corrinne May Ying Foo

What's wrong, what's getting you down?

Is it something I might have said?

You're walking around

With your head to the ground

And your eyes are watery red

I know you've been through tough times

Kicked around, thrown to the ground

But you've always been the strong one

So don't tell me that nobody gets you'

Cause I'm standing in your corner

Knocking at your door

You don't have to be alone

Just call my name

Let me be an answer

'Cause it hurts me to see you this way

I wanna ease your pain

Help me understand

Let me be your shelter, my friend

We share a bond, you and I, we belong

We're like coffee and morning train

You strip my defenses

I catch your pretenses

The same blood runs through our veins

I swore I'd be your lifeline

Made a vow that I'd surround you

With love at every milestone

I'll listen when nobody gets you

I'm still standing in your corner

Waiting by your door

You don't have to be alone

Just call my name

Let me be an answer

'Cause it hurts me to see you this way

I wanna ease your pain

Help me understand

Let me be your shelter, my friend

It was not too long ago

You sought to understand

You helped me mend

Remember when

So promise me you'll call my name

Let me be an answer

'Cause it hurts me to see you this way

I wanna ease your pain

Help me understand

Let me be your shelter, my friend

Angel(s) in Disguise

2007-08-12T10:39:00.000+08:00

Angel in Disguise

by Corrinne May

I woke up this morning

feeling kind of blue

when I stumbled out of bed

dragged my feet across the room

Right outside my front door was a rose and a note that said

'Somebody Loves You'

But out on the street it starts to pour

before I get soaking wet,

A total stranger runs to give me the jacket off his back

I turned around to thank him

But he waves me with a smile

I can hardly believe my eyes

He puts on a halo and starts to fly

Take a look at the ordinary

Don't need to look for Paradise

You could be next to an angel in disguise

I met a good friend for lunch

and we had a delicious meal

But I forgot to bring my wallet I felt like an imbecile

But she was sweet, she gave me a treat and

Bought me a chicken sandwich

To take home for tea

But out on the street with nothing to eat

A man and his shopping cart

go travelling to places,

Collecting social graces

I give him my sandwich and we chatter for a while

I see a rainbow wash over his eyes

He gives me his halo and I start to fly

Take a look at the ordinary

Don't need to look for Paradise

You could be next to an angel in disguise

Don't try to hide away from me

I know you're by my side

Take a look at the ordinary

Don't need to look for Paradise

You could be next to an angel in disguise

Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look for Paradise
You could be next to an angel in disguise

Everyday can be legendary

Every minute, an endless surprise

You could be the next angel in disguise

I woke up this morning

Feeling kind of new.

I used to have an Angel in Disguise but it turns out the angel was really just one in disguise. It's nowhere to be found. Maybe my angel has returned to heaven or has moved on to another mortal. Most likely the latter.

But recently, I found out I've more angels than I thought I had. My ex 4E3s descended on Simpleville last Tuesday and touched my heart (many times over) with their 'surprises'.

I thought I would have been forgotten but their sweet gesture told me otherwise. I then realised that during the only two years when my birthday was not celebrated, they were the ones who came and brought me joy.

And on Wednesday, I realised I have another Angel in Disguise. Some angel placed a Strawberry Shortcake purse with 3 Kit Kats in it and a note signed off as "Angel".

Was trying to figure out who my angel could be:

Must be female
Could be a fellow jedi, a student or an ex-student
Someone familar with Strawberry Shortcake (A brand name in my era)
Someone who owns that piece of notepad.
Someone with neat handwriting
Someone who's in school on Wed.

Haiz.. I guess I'm back to square one... I have no clue who my Angel in Disguise is..

Anyone who recognises the notepad or the handwriting, please call 1900-ANGEL-IN -DISGUISE

To all angels out there, past, present and future, God Bless.

1 down (Yeah!) and 9 more to go.... (Grrrrrhhh...)

2007-08-02T21:29:00.000+08:00

Just finished a 3hr long paper which could be completed in 2..... I'm drained, I'm sleepy, I'm hungry but I must blog before the ideas disappear...

It has been so many years since I sat for one... The inertia was real great but I'm glad it is over... (though the next will be coming quite soon... )

So what have I learnt from Med 871 Educational Inquiry I, the first of 10 modules .....

There were many learning points but mainly none related to the subject... I shall elaborate:

Lesson #1: I must do what I preach... Burning midnight oil never works

Thought I was 'smart' enough to study at the last minute as I was trying to clear school work before studying.. (though I didn't manage to).

Two days of study leave to cram ard 10 thick chapters, reading most for the first time... Pure stupidity.. I was overly ambitious and rather suicidal. The consequences for my complacency: Information overload in two days, panic, stress, didn't manage to read every chapter before the exam, stomachache, nauseous...

Thank goodness, it was an open book exam which meant that I could still read the chapters while attempting the questions. After the paper, I told myself never to do last minute studying.. There's so much I can handle nowadays... I'm getting old...No longer can I burn midnight oil, no longer can I force myself to sleep at 2-3am, no longer do I have the braincells to absorb so much at a short period of time.

I must do what I preach to my padawans. I feel ashamed that I nag at them for procrastinating their revision and yet I do so.. Haiz.. such a bad example...

Lesson #2: I am equally 'kan cheong' now when it comes to exam as I was a decade years ago

I was never good at handling exam stress. Not sure if it's a typical 'girl' kancheong syndrome.. cos I wasn't the only girl with that issue. The guys however always seem so cool about exams. I remember even up to uni days, during exams I would panick. I had to be driven to the exam halls and calmed down by someone before I could walk into the hall with just a slight increase of confidence.

7 years later, I thought I'll be mature enough to handle any exam stress, having gone through all the ups and downs.... How wrong.. I'm still the old me... panic stricken, last minute revision, self-inflicted physical and emotional trauma before sitting for an exam.

It goes to prove that people don't change.

Lesson #3: Never stay with a neighbour on your left who owns 3 Miniature Schnauzers and another on your right who owns a hen and a rooster.

Waaahhh... let me complain... For the past few nights, when I needed my sleep the most, my neighbour's 3 yelping dogs would bark at 1am plus.. One of them is on heat I think, barking crazily and shaking the metal cage frantically... and the other two just.. well... bark along....

Like that is not enough.....

Recently, the other neighbour, for whatever reason, bought a hen and a rooster to rear!!!! And since last week, I realised I had a new "alarm clock" that perpectually sounds itself at 5.30am and IT SNOOZES!!!!! (i.e.... crows every 10 or so minutes.. )

So, let me do the Maths for you... I can only sleep ard 2plus when the dog on heat finally shuts up and wakes up at 5 plus when the stupid cock crows. That leaves me ... 5 - 2 = 3 hrs of sleep!!! EVERY NIGHT!!!!!

So, make sure you don't live beside a family who owns three dogs and another who owns a hen and a rooster.

Lesson #4: I can't let go of Simpleville...

I told myself to just let go of work but I ended up checking the emails, sending work emails, wondering if my classes were up to any mischief.. and then I found out about an incident that took place recently.... So painful to find out such things about the padawans whom you always thought of as good kids..

Who's to blame? Padawans, Jedis, or the entire Empire.
Should there be blaming in the first place... or should we start to do something about it. Things must change.. but I don't know how..
We could weed out the Phantom Menace or wait for the Return of the Jedi or Attack the Clones of those who are doing the mischief or take Revenge for the boy (of the Sith), or have the entire Empire to Strike Back.

But I prefer to have A New Hope, that something good will still come out of Simpleville. .. if we don't give up and continue to try.

Lesson #5: It's very easy to commit a Type I and Type II error

One of the things taught in Statistical Research is the possible error made when accepting or rejecting a Null Hypothesis.

Essentially, Type I error is the rejection of a true null hypothesis and Type II error is the retention of a false null hypothesis. Technically, they can't coexist. However, from one of the extracts in the textbook (See below pic) I realised that it can be and it has happened....

So if what I postulated in Lesson #2 is true, that people don't change, would a person who made such errors, be capable of making Type I or Type II error or both...... AGAIN...

Pic extracted fr:
Ary, D., Jacobs, J. C., Razavieh, A. & Sorensen, C. (2006) Introduction to research in education (7th edition). Belmont, CA: Thomson Wadsworth. pp 183

I'm Proud to be a Singaporean!!!

2007-07-25T21:17:00.000+08:00

When Hossan Leong first performed it last Aug in the Old Parliment House Chambers, I found it so hilarious that I showed it to a close friend of mine. I almost went to watch but couldn't get the free seats.. It was full house so quickly.

Early this month, I had the opportunity to watch Hossan Leong perform in Dim Sum Dollies: History of Singapore and laughed at how he butchered the History of Singapore. I couldn't stop laughing... To some conservatives, they may think it's disrespectful but if you looked at how the audience responded at the end of the musical, you would know that in those moments of fun and laughter, the musical had somehow reminded us of who we are, allowed us to reflect on our past and appreciate our identify as Singaporeans.

Almost the entire audience in the full-house Esplanade theatre was waving the Singapore flags and singing to the Singapore songs.. some standing and dancing even.

To think that just one month back, I thought of migrating at some point in time. It was to a point that I went actually went to "test" it out in Melbourne which ironically helped me made up my mind about NOT migrating to Australia at all...

And thanks to Lavanya, I got to see the "MTV" which made me very fond of S'pore... Though it was was created some time back, I somehow missed it. For someone fr the 7 series... (Not BMW but those born in the 70s), there were a lot of scenes that I could identify with... VR man, Michael Fay, bubble gum ban, Tea dancing.. (I used to go every Saturday..) Haha.. I miss those carefree days..

So sit back and enjoy this NE clip... Take it with a pinch of salt.. it's good to laugh at ourselves at times and not be too serious... (Hmm... I wonder if I can use it for my NE lessons.. )

I"M PROUD TO BE A SINGAPOREAN!!!
.
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My Virgin Fireworks Shots...

2007-07-23T00:46:00.000+08:00

Over the years, the number of people with DSLR in Singapore seems to increase at an exponential rate.. And after attending 2 Fireworks festivals, I don't see how I'll ever get a space to shoot one this year. So I thought I better shoot whatever fireworks I can and leave those real good fireworks to the professionals.

Yesterday, I forfeited $30 to shoot some sporadic fireworks at the Esplanade Bridge.... My virgin fireworks shots.... It was kinda embarassing as I was clueless as to what the settings were. I had no tripod as my quick release is still missing, rendering my tripod useless. And I stupidly left the cable release at home. Perfect evidence that it was my first fireworks photo shoot.

Luckily, I had someone with me who was not too inexperienced. She brought two tripods and helped me do the setting. But that's about it cos she said when the fireworks start, it's pretty much up to me to decide on the time I want the fireworks to be exposed.

The four minutes of fireworks were pretty much an adrenaline rush, filled with frustrations, regret and confusion, an equivalent of my past 2 years. Some were overexposed, some were underexposed. Some beautiful fireworks (the finale and the gold dust ones) I could not capture as the camera had the BUSY sign on... In the end, these were the only savable shots.. which pretty much suck due to the wrong timing... such wrong timing.

I wondered if I made the right move. Should I have gone for what I've paid for but know that things will never be the same or that I'm just throwing myself against a wall? Or should I have struggled with something new, pick things up from scratch and know that I have to move on? Though I did the latter, I'm still not sure if I have or if I'll ever do that again.

It seems impossible to shoot during this year's S'pore fireworks festival as they will be cordoning off the seats and planters area, leaving only the walkway for people to view and shoot.

Why must they do this when I finally have my DSLR?

Such wrong timing... such wrong timing.... as always.

I didn't kill anyone!!!

2007-07-20T01:19:00.000+08:00

Just 3 days ago... on 17/07/07
My name was on the papers... Straits Times Life to be exact...

Out of sheer cheap thrill, I sent a photograph (my avatar on my blog) some time back to Straits Times Life, just to see if it's worth publishing......

Apparantly, it is.....

What's funny are the reactions to them:

Reaction #1:

(Upon hearing that my name was in the papers....)

Eric: Who did you kill?

Moi: Lorraine.. for taking away all my potential wealth...

Eric: haha

Reaction #2:

Fr an ex-padawan: I even cut out that 'article'

Moi: For what? (curious)

Ex-padawan: Jus Keep..

Moi: .................... (I'm touched, thanks)

Reaction #3:

Mum (on the phone): Aye, ur name's in the papers.. u know or not?

Moi: Yah.. I'm working..

Mum: Why is it in the papers?

Moi: Just send in for fun..

Mum: Got money or not?

Moi: No...

Mum: Then why send....

Moi: I'm working....

Mum: Later, eating or not?

Moi: yes..

When I reached home that evening, I found out that she had told my aunts, her neighbours, her church friends, her Qi class mate........... It's just a picture, mum.. (but I'm touched, thanks)

PS: I didn't come up with the cheesy title "Peak-ture Perfect". They did.. The text was mine though... Here's the original photo (here).

Happy 2nd Year Anniversary.......... 7 Years Later...

2007-07-12T22:54:00.001+08:00

12 /07/2007 .. 2nd Year's Anniversary...hmmm..and Mark's DOB too...

It's exactly two years since I first blogged. Total posts to date: 124.....

Last year, I actually gave a roll of honours for my ramblings...
This year, I simply couldn't....

Looking back at my posts for the past year, made me feel so sad... There were entries on death, goodbyes, last day on earth, sickness, rats, drownings, end of the world... so depressing. Perhaps, a reflection of reality and of how life unfolded itself.........

Ironically, when I was a teenager, I thought 27 would be a good year of me.. purely because the number meant a lot to me back then.. Alas, it wasn't......

Hence, to "celebrate" 7 Years Later's 2nd Anniversary on the 12/07/2007 (wow.. i shall add 2,1,&7 to my fav numbers list), I shall make a pledge to stop blogging depressing topics and lead a happy life for myself and my loved ones...

Afterall, la vie est belle!!!

07-07-07

2007-07-07T17:59:00.000+08:00

07-07-07

Ahhh.. my fav number... It'll take another 100 years before this date comes.... That is if our planet is still in existence... Meanwhile, enjoy this day while we still can and SAVE THE WORLD!!!

HAPPY LIVE EARTH DAY !!!

Words of Wisdom...

2007-06-28T23:04:00.000+08:00

A friend sent me an email entitled Words of Wisdom...

Thought I may get the needed wisdom that I need right now.... hmmm.. I wonder if this was it.

It's a small world after all....

2007-06-20T18:21:00.000+08:00

(Moi and the ex-kiddos at Hans Brinker Pancakes at QV, Russell Street, Melbourne)

It's a world of laughter, a world of tears
It's a world of hopes and a world of fears
There's so much that we share - That it's time we're aware

It's a small world after all
It's a small world after all
It's a small world after all
It's a small world after all
It's a small, small world

There is just one moon and one golden sun
And a smile means friendship to every one
Though the mountains divide and the oceans are wide

It's a small world after all
It's a small world after all
It's a small world after all
It's a small world after all
It's a small, small world

I remember at the first kindegarten I attended (Yes... I attended two different ones.. perhaps I was so naughty that I had to be transfered.....), we would always sing this song... hand actions and all...

I guess at that time I couldn't understand the meaning of the song...actually up till recently I don't see the world as that small. If it had been, I wouldn't have to endure 7.5 long hrs cramped in an economy seat to travel from Melbourne to Singapore.

Interestingly, I beg to differ now.... cos as I was walking along a street in Melbourne, I bumped into an ex-student of mine. It was a strange encounter as for a moment, it felt as if I was along the streets of Orchard Road, meeting a familiar face. I didn't even know that she was studying in Melbourne. We spoke for awhile and after being told that another ex-student of mine is studying there as well, I knew I had to meet up with the two of them.

The lunch date was nice.. and for a change, I met up with ex-students in a different country in winter clothings. As I heard about their lives, I felt very proud of them and at the same time envious of their experiences and their independence which I'm not even sure if at my age I truly have it.

It also dawned upon me that some of the padawans who have graduated from Simpleville are making their mark in the world (literally)... and perhaps instead of catching up with ex-students in Singapore, I may soon have to catch up with them overseas.. For a start, Canada, Sydney, China, Korea, Indonesia... And right now, I have friends working and living in Shanghai, USA, Australia. So it is quite probable that I'll fly over to meet up with my friends as well.

Hmmm.. so is it a small world after all?

I believe so.... and I'm glad ;P

How I made a difference.......

2007-05-24T21:08:00.000+08:00

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound

That sav’d a wretch like me!

I once was lost, but now am found,

Was blind, but now I see.
’Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,

And grace my fears reliev’d;

How precious did that grace appear,

The hour I first believ’d!
Thro’ many dangers, toils and snares,

I have already come;

’Tis grace has brought me safe thus far,

And grace will lead me home.
The Lord has promis’d good to me,

His word my hope secures;

He will my shield and portion be,

As long as life endures.
Yes, when this flesh and heart shall fail,

And mortal life shall cease;

I shall possess, within the veil,

A life of joy and peace.
The earth shall soon dissolve like snow,

The sun forbear to shine;

But God, who call’d me here below,

Will be forever mine.

John Newton, Olney Hymns (London: W. Oliver, 1779)

Since young, I heard this song in church, at farewell dinners, at funerals but it never occured to me what the origin of the song is. It was only yesterday when I watched Amazing Grace with Lady28 and Lady Charm, did I know how it came about and now, the song will take a new meaning whenever I hear it.

The composer, John Newton wrote this hymn after converting to Christianity in the village Kineton, Warwickshire, England. The hymn describes his feelings about the slave trade while on his ship in 1748. Several years later, he abandoned the slave trade and repented from his sins. Alas, the cruelty he witnessed was enough to scar him for life.

But the main show was not about John Newton, rather it was about his good friend William Wilberforce, a British politician, philanthropist, and abolitionist who led the parliamentary campaign against the slave trade in 1787. After months of planning, on 12 May 1789, he made his first major speech on the subject of abolition in the House of Common (S'pore's equivilent of Parliment), in which he reasoned that the slave trade was morally reprehensible and an issue of natural justice.

But in those times, it was almost impossible to push for this cause because of power, money, racial discrimination....and that all men were not seen as equals..

What I'm amazed is that despite his ill-health, and the seemingly impossible task, he pushed on and never gave up to fight for a cause that involved a group of people from a different race, a different country... How many of us would do that?

His 20 years long battle to abolish the slave trade finally reached a closure in 25 March 1807. That was when the Slave Trade Act was finally abolished. And yet, he never stopped serving. He started doing many things to help the Africans and the British poor via medical institutes, schools etc.. and all these were done while his health was deteriortating. Amazingly, he lived up to the age of 74 and now he is buried in Westminster Abbey in London.

A statue to the memory of Wilberforce was erected in Westminster Abbey in 1840, bearing the epitaph:

"To the memory of William Wilberforce (born in Hull, August 24th 1759, died in London, July 29th 1833); for nearly half a century a member of the House of Commons, and, for six parliaments during that period, one of the two representatives for Yorkshire. In an age and country fertile in great and good men, he was among the foremost of those who fixed the character of their times; because to high and various talents, to warm benevolence, and to universal candour, he added the abiding eloquence of a Christian life. Eminent as he was in every department of public labour, and a leader in every work of charity, whether to relieve the temporal or the spiritual wants of his fellow-men, his name will ever be specially identified with those exertions which, by the blessing of God, removed from England the guilt of the African slave trade, and prepared the way for the abolition of slavery in every colony of the empire: in the prosecution of these objects he relied, not in vain, on God; but in the progress he was called to endure great obloquy and great opposition: he outlived, however, all enmity; and in the evening of his days, withdrew from public life and public observation to the bosom of his family. Yet he died not unnoticed or forgotten by his country: the Peers and Commons of England, with the Lord Chancellor and the Speaker at their head, in solemn procession from their respective houses, carried him to his fitting place among the mighty dead around, here to repose: till, through the merits of Jesus Christ, his only redeemer and saviour, (whom, in his life and in his writings he had desired to glorify,) he shall rise in the resurrection of the just."

One day, I'll pay my respects to this great man who fought a cause without the use of violence, who persisted despite all odds, who had an amazing grace to do what he strongly believed in, who made a difference in this world.......

Incidently, my padawans are taking part in this Readers' Digest essay competition on the topic:

HOW I MADE A DIFFERENCE...

It need not be something like what William Wilberforce did. It can be something simple and yet matters to someone, something or even themselves. I hope they will dig deep within themselves and really ask if they have a difference somehow... and if not, may they find the grace to do so someday......

The Memory Keeper's Daughter

2007-05-22T22:04:00.000+08:00

Just finished this wonderful story.. I simply have to share... Never read such a compelling story in awhile.

The Memory Keeper's Daughter, by KIM Edwards is a brilliantly crafted family drama that explores every mother's silent fear: what would happen if your child dies or worse, you lost your child and she grew up without you.

The story started out on a winter night in 1964 (as you can see from the snow flakes on the cover page). Dr. David Henry was forced by a blizzard to deliver his own twins. His son, born first, was perfectly healthy. Yet when his daughter was born, he saw immediately that she had Down's syndrome. Rationalising it as a need to protect Norah, his wife, he made a split second decision that altered all of their lives forever. He asked his nurse to take the baby away to an institution and never to reveal the secret. But Caroline, the nurse, could not leave the infant. Instead, she disappeared into another city to raise the child herself.

So begins this beautifully told story that unfolds over a quarter of a century in which these two families, ignorant of each other, are yet bound by David Henry's fateful decision that winter night.

The Memory Keeper is actually refering to the father, David. Why Memory Keeper you may ask... In the story, he took up photography after the birth of his children. After giving away his daughter, his guilt and the longing for her grew strong but he had no one to share those feelings with. He simply couldn't bring himself to be close to his wife and son as they reminded him of what he did and yet, he was afraid to tell them the truth. So the only way he felt close to them was to take their pictures, process it in solitude in his darkroom (they were using film them obviously) and freeze the moments so that he'll never forget.. keeping the memories with him. In fact, David said, "Photography is all about secrets.... The secrets we all have and will never tell."

Hmmmmm... Most photographers would beg to differ.

The Memory Keeper's Daughter captures the way life takes unexpected turns and how the mysterious ties that hold a family together help us survive the heartache that occurs when long-buried secrets burst into the open. It is an compelling tale of redemptive love. At some parts of the book, I even had to take a pause from reading because I was simply too emotional. Perhaps, some emotions of the characters reflect mine as well. It was not the events that made the story interesting but the ripples the events creates in the lives of the characters. In life, it's like that too...

During the time I was reading the book, I found myself seeing more people with Down's syndrome. It could be that I did not take notice of them before reading the book. It did occur to me what I would do if I have a child with Down's syndrome? Obviously I do not wish that to happen but you never know. What sort of decisions would I make?

Decisions are made every day, and with each decision and each event, something else follows. Some will be a mystery, some a little more predictable. But whatever it is, we have to live with it. I just hope I won't be like David in the end... He did everything thinking that he was protecting his family but in so doing, distances himself from them... seldom smiling.... always closed up and guarded... just keeping the memories with photography.

Here are some quotes for us to ponder:

"Others won't care how much we know, until we show them how much we care. "

"If someone does not smile at you, be generous and offer your own smile. Nobody needs a smile more than the one who cannot smile to others. "

Drowning........

2007-05-14T02:07:00.000+08:00

Like Meredith Gray, I'm drowning.....

Somebody save me...

Superman... Spiderman.... Powerpuff Girls..... Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles also can

What is Courage?

2007-04-21T18:46:00.000+08:00

I still remember till this day my GP tutor told me that a student once attempted this question for his GP test or exam. The topic of discussion: What is Courage?

And his response was submitted on 3 pieces of papers stapled together:

The 1st page is blank except for the P.T.O (please turn over) at the bottom of the paper.

The 2nd page P.T.O
"
"
The 5th page P.T.O

On the 6th page, at the bottom of the page were these words......... "THIS IS COURAGE."

And with that he managed to pass the test!!!

Hmm... Maybe it's some sort of urban legend cos another friend of mine from another JC heard about this before..

I posed this same question to my students recently.. and what were their responses?

"Courage is daring to accomplish something in the face of danger." by S.Z.H

"Every man is born with selfishenss and the will to live, if we do not at all think about ourselves first, that is the first spark of courage." by J.G.

"Courage is all about being strong; it makes us grow, makes us the person we weren't in the past." by S.P

"Courage is to walk with your eyes closed, fearlessly and bravely knowing that you will not fail. Courage is to have confidence in yourself, to face your problems and not to run away from it. if you can face your fears without turning your back against them, then are you a man of true courage! Not only do you have to be brave but you have to believe in yourself. Never should we underestimate the true power of courage." by N. s/o V

But seriously, what is courage?

Is it about handing in a somewhat empty script during a test to prove that you are courageous, or must one sacrifice one's life like the 76 year old Israeli lecturer who died saving the lives of his students by blocking the doorway of his classroom and taking the gunman's bullets during the Virginia Tech Massacre, or is it the ability of the loved ones of the victims to move on in life after this senseless murder? Is courage the ability to survive against all odds like how the visually handicapped Dr Wong Meng Ee who, despite his difficulties and lack of initial support, did his Ph.D and won medals in International Sporting Meets?

Perhaps. Perhaps all.

After today's Dr. Wong's speech during Simpleville's Speech Day, it makes me certain that with courage and HEART ((Health, Enthusiasm, Assiduty, Resilience & Tenacity) I will be able to overcome my current obstacle. It also makes me certain that whatever problems I may be facing are insignificant compared to others. So who am I to complain?

As we take HEART in what we do, and with God's will, we'll all be able to ride through the wave and see life in a different light.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yesterday was the beginning of a new chapter in my life, I completed the deed and so it is finished. Yet, the path seems unclear. Will I stumble? Will I fall? Will people take joy in making insensitive remarks? Will I savour in my solitude? The future is unknown.

But with courage, I'll move on and take everything in my stride.

What is courage?

THIS IS COURAGE.

In Memory of Alison

2007-03-19T21:46:00.000+08:00

I chanced upon this tomb on my trek to Poon Hill (Nepal). It states:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alison Louise Paterson

30.11.1963 UK - 21.1.1999 Australia

"Duniya Ko Mathhi"

On top of the world

My dearest wife

This place means so much to us and here you will rest. I will travel a new path knowing our love is so strong I will never have to say goodbye..

Love Ian

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was so touched by the love they shared and can only imagine the wonderful times they had together, though short it may be. She passed away at a really young age of 36, which led me to think how fragile life can be. Hence, it irks me to see how some people, are just wasting their life doing nothing or worse causing harm to others, as if the world has no problems of its own.*

Life is fragile. Don't waste it. Rather, spend it to impact lives in a positive way. I hope I can do so since much of my short life on Earth seems to have been wasted. And when I die, I hope my epitaph will be of meaning, of purpose, of love and not one that just stamps the name, the date of birth and death.

I can't help wondering what would be my epitaph on my tombstone or rather niche (considering Singapore's dwindling land space) when I die and who would be penning it......

*Hmm.. I'm into footnotes cos eversince I realised I may be a 'candidate' for ADD, I seemed to be more scatterbrained.. Hence, random thoughts will pop in my head... Was thinking of the world with it's many problems and I thought of the global warming crisis. A friend of mine came back fr a trip to the Swiss Alps and she was recounting her trip. What shocked me and everyone else in the group was that she said it was like a wasted trip. It usually snows in January but when she was there then, the snow was melting and they couldn't ski... Scary huh... It's REAL! The inconvenient truth is real.... Thus, I'm on a sudden quest to 'save the world' by preventing global warming. I know it seems ridiculous but like what Al Gore did, one country at a time, one family at a time, one person at a time, I hope the the message will spread. Hopefully, it will work.

Rats!!!!

2007-03-15T23:34:00.000+08:00

The word 'Rats' can be used in different ways:

1) as an interjection
Slang. (an exclamation of disappointment, disgust, or disbelief.)

2) as a noun (literally)
several long-tailed rodents of the family Muridae, of the genus Rattus and related genera, distinguished from the mouse by being larger.

3) as a noun (figuratively)
Slang.
a -scoundrels.
b - people who abandon or betray their party or associates, esp. in a time of trouble.
c - informers.

Rats!!!! (usage #1) The March 'holidays' is coming to an end and I only had one day break cos the rest were packed with other things to do. I need a breather.. can't wait for June but it seems like a long wait...

Rats!!!! (usage #2) There was a rat scare some time in November 2005 http://sevenyrslater.blogspot.com/2005_11_01_archive.html but it turned out to be a cute furry cat... February 2007 there was a rat scare again... but this time.. it's for real!!!!

(NC16: Due to the horrific details in the following paragraphs, viewers' discretion is advised)

The first signs of the intruder(s) were tiny little faeces on the tables of some Jedis. They were tiny. Perhaps a few millimetres... so how big can the intruder(s) possibly be. Hence, everyone dismissed it and life goes on.

While the Jedis were all busy fighting for the good cause, the intruders expanded their territory. More tables were visited. More evidences were left behind. Yet, no one did anything.

It was only after the Chinese New Year celebrations that the alarm was triggered. The Angpow with the chocolates in the form of golden coins, which I received during CNY was tampered with. I swear.. this rat is from The Matrix... Let me explain...

The Angpow was placed in a 10cm tall round plastic container. At a glance, no one would have noticed any difference as it was still upright and in place that fateful morning. However, on closer look, I noticed the top edge of the Angpow was nibbled neatly and the chocolate golden coins were MISSING!!!!

The remants of the chewed gold foil were left behind and the remaining chocolate had two teeth scrap marks in it. I would have taken a picture but I just freaked and cleared it as soon as I could. I was horrified, petrified, terrified, mystified(anymore??). How in the world did the container remain straight up? How in the world did the creature retrieve the chocolate? I could just imagine a rat in a matrix outfit doing some kind of stunt to get it out and later feasting on the delectable chocolates. I thought I was the only one who had such an intruder but I wasn't. Master Kungfu Hamster had the same situation too. The only difference was that his chocolates were kept in a LOCKED cabinet!!!! Crap... this is getting creepier. What kind of mutated creatures are they?? The only information we know about our nemesis is that it likes chocolates and not ritz biscuits since they were side by side and only the former was targeted.

The evidences were everywhere. Something had to be done.

Rat traps...

Day 1: A black tiny rodent was trapped in the glue trapped. I didn't get to see it. Thank goodness.

Day 4: I thought the rat scare was over but I was wrong. Master Pinkiemonkie pointed out to me that a rat's tail was found on the glue trap. I didn't understand what she meant (I thought she meant a rat) until I saw it with my very eyes. Yup.. a rat's tail was stuck to the glue trap... still bloodied...

I can imagine the poor creature, in order to run for its life, ripped it's own body away from it's tail. Awww gross... It's like the movie SAW (which I didn't watch). I couldn't help feel sorry for the tail-less creature. Imagine the pain. But the pity only lasted for awhile. The fear of the rat(s) coming back with a vengence scared the crap out of me.

I fear going back to the my cave.. I wish I can be up at my old place again..

RATS!!! (usage #3) They have been apart of my life and everytime I get burnt or played out, I blame myself for being so stupid. Apparently, people with ADD tend to do that. Maybe, I really do have ADD. I guess all I can do in future is to watch out for such rats and avoid them like a plague. Where is my paper??? Rats!!! (and I'm back to usage #1... full circle)

Whoopy!!!!!!! I'm having the Whooping cough...

2007-03-12T21:27:00.000+08:00

Today's my very first visit to a Traditional Chinese Medicine Hall (TCM)

I guess after coughing for so long, taking many antibiotics, going for an X-ray, drinking all sorts of self-concocted medication, I gave up.

I decided to go CHEENA for my health...

"百日咳 " "bai ri ke" (a hundred days cough) is an understatement. I may have breached the 100th day mark TWICE or more :(

The English equivalent is known as PERTUSSIS (wah.. so chim.. cough cough..)

I decided to check it up.. the definition is as such:

A highly contagious disease of the respiratory system, that is caused by the bacterium Bordetella pertussis and is characterised in its advanced stage by spasms of coughing interspersed with deep, noisy inspirations.

Wow.. so all Jedis and Padawans stay away from me... I'm gg back to school in an 'Outbreak 'suit.. or better still... please bar me from gg back to school!!!!

The experience at the TCM was rather frustrating but I realised (or rather I've always known) my Chinese is not so good and so is my health. Here's why:

1) When the Chinese (fr China) receptionist asked me for my number in mandarin, I realised I couldn't recite it out. I had to think in English and number by number convert it to mandarin at a rather slow pace, though I tried to sound cheena by saying "Yao" instead of "Yi" for the number one.. keke...

2) After pressing my wrist for my pulse, the lady doctor could diagnose what's wrong..(I'm amazed and at the same time skeptical) She was telling me in mandarin that my lungs have weakened and the causes of my condition. I was trying my best to interpret but most of the time I was like.. "What's that in English? Can you translate to English? Fei?? Which organ is that? Oohh.. Lungs.. Oh crap.. what did she say after that..." She's from Shanghai.. so she did her best to translate certain terms and I did my best to decipher her technical terms...I was literally LOST IN TRANSLATION.

3) She told me what I needed to do and which food to avoid: sleep early, avoid stress, avoid coffee, tea, milo, orange, cold drinks, dairy products esp cheese & chocolates, chicken, anything spicy, fried and oily...

Wah lau.. common sense will also tell me if I do all these I'll be slim, healthy, stress-free and most probably have stopped working. How to avoid??

4) The medication which lasts for 7 days cost $50!!!! MOE doesn't allow medical claims for TCM and I'm supposed to go back for the weekly dosage till my "Qi" is balanced??!! When will that be?? She said 'depends'!!??

Now, I'm back home.. looking at my 14 sachets of TCM (see pic) and I'm seriously thinking if it'll work. Is what she had said just common sense? I'm also wondering what's in those powder substance that I'll be taking.. but I have to trust her.. this is a TCM hall which has the "Superbrand" logo and she has a Masters in Chinese Medicine too. Since all old methods of getting rid of the "dunno how many days aredi" cough have failed, TCM is my last resort!!!! And if it works, it'll be a small price to pay to prevent an onslaught of a serious illness.

Crap!!!! I'm only in my 20s (albeit a late one)

What if you have one more day with someone you'd lost?

2007-02-27T20:59:00.000+08:00

Finally.. I finished reading 'For One More Day' which technically could be finished within a day... simply love it..

Although it seems rather surreal, it makes me relook into my life, my past and my relationships with my closed ones...

It made me think of "the times my mother stood up for me" and "the times I did not stand up for my mother"... I think you should too... pg 138 taught me a real lesson which perhaps came too late..

The story also explores questions of regret, divorce, and how we would spend one special day with the ghost of someone we loved. The part where the main character keep chasing the elusive love of a person (his dad) who wasn't worth it in the first place seemed haunting.

There was one paragraph in the book that got me thinking...
"As the sun is going down, it's coming up someplace else in the world. .... It's such a big world.. something is always happening somewhere.. Do you ever think while something is happening, about what's happening someplace else?... "

I do....

Sometimes, I wonder what so and so is doing right now...

whatever happened to Susan a friend I knew in Primary One who migrated to London.. (Wow.. that's a whole separate story which I'll put as a footnote* )
whatever happened to Mark Ong whom I discussed marriage with at the age of 15
whatever happened to my 18 yr old Nepalese porter who told me he'll go back to school
whatever happened to my grandfathers' other families whom I've only heard of.. .never met..

Was wondering at the same time, what are the odds of another person reading this book, that line at that same point in time... or for that matter, what are the odds of a person blogging about For One More Day at this very minute. Very slim odds but not impossible... I know.. I know.. It seems trival and some people would go "Siao... nothing better do to".. .. but I believe every thought, every sense tells us something...

So, what if you have one more day with someone you'd lost, what would you do?

*footnote
I had a 'best friend' in primary one. Her name is Susan.. can't remember her surname. 'Leong' perhaps.. not sure.. One day, she told me she'd be leaving. She said London. I think I didn't know where it was only knew that it's some Ang Moh country. I didn't take it seriously. We went for recess as per normal. We sat side by side during lessons as usual and one fine day, she 'disappeared'... "migrated".. that's what my teacher said. (I had no clue what that word meant back then.. it was too 'chim' for me.)

I went home crying but hid my tears for I didn't want my mum to find out. When I realised my mum was busy, I secretly went to the phone, pulled out the thick residential telephone directory and anxiouxly flipped to "S" section.. When I got there, I was shocked... there were so many Susans... I finally found the one with the correct surname (I still can't remember what it was) and I promptly dialled. I remembered hearing a male voice over the phone. I asked for Susan.. and he said she's not in... then I remembered asking why did she leave... and I remember going on and on asking about where is she etc etc... and then the person kept asking me where is my mummy.

haha... It was only a few minutes later did I realise I could have dialled the wrong number when he told me Susan was working. Working?? Adult perhaps.. Damn (Of course I didn't curse at that age... I guess it was thinking of an equivalent of 'damn' from a child's point of view)

And with that I hung up and gave up on contacting her... didn't even say bye

I still have her picture though..

So what if I had one more day with her before she left... silly.. I get her number, her address and I'll give her mine...

Hmmm... what are the odds of Susan XYZ from Marymount Convent Class 1A (1986) reading this blog entry... hmmm...

Time is relative...

2007-02-27T00:20:00.000+08:00

Watched a movie which seemed a lot like Love Actually.. a series of love stories weaved into one movie.. with some connections of sorts between them....

The movie: Paris Je'Taime

The movie, mainly in French, features famous stars like Natalie Portman, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Elijah Wood, Juliette Binoche, Nick Nolte etc etc...

The difference between Love Actually and Paris Je'Taime is that the latter consists of 18 love stories, each no more than 7 minutes.

Before watching the movie, I couldn't understand how a love story could be told within 7 minutes.. Well, it can apparently... 18 times to be exact...

It brings me to think of how time is relative when it comes to love... it can happen anytime, be it within 7mins or 7 years.. and it can also dissipate in a matter of time if not treasured or it can last a lifetime...

It's ironic... when we were young, we wanted to quickly grow up and when we are old enough... we want time to slow down.. But in this modern age where everything seems so fast paced, it seems impossible to slow time down... As a Jedi, time seems to pass by more quickly. Everytime I chat/meet up with ex-padawans, I'm reminded of how fast time flies. It's a sweet feeling though, cos all are doing well and getting on with their lives.

Was just told by an ex-student, that in 4 days time, they will be getting their A levels.. my first batch of grad students... they are soon going to graduate from their college.. And very soon, they will be doing their NS or going on to study in a University. Nice... I wish all those who are taking their A level results this Fri all the best...

Gd luck Cons, Ah Ming ger, Ah Ber.. may you get the results you worked hard for..

Boy does time flies..

Forgiveness is easier said than done... but one must still try...

2007-02-26T00:09:00.000+08:00

Was told to by my NTU lecturer yesterday to forgive and I said I already did... but is it real forgiveness? Perhaps, I'm not ready to make nice....

DIXIE CHICKS
"Not Ready To Make Nice"

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting
I’m through with doubt
There’s nothing left for me to figure out
I’ve paid a price
And I’ll keep paying

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and I don’t have time to go round and round and round

It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I know you said
Can’t you just get over it
It turned my whole world around
And I kind of like it

I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I don’t mind sayin’
It’s a sad sad story when a mother will teach her
Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger
And how in the world can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they’d write me a letter
Sayin’ that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell andI don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting

Goodbye Hello Kitty...

2007-01-31T23:47:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year... oops I'm one month late...

But as always, it's better late than never... Been really busy but I believe no matter how busy one is, one must always make time for your loved ones.... so, that is something I have been doing. :p

But sadly, I will be spending less time with a loved one. I will be seeing less of that loved one and she'll be greatly missed...

My sister..

She's on her way to Amsterdam as I'm blogging.. 13 hours flight.. 6 months long overseas exchange programme.. Lucky uni 'kids'. Nowadays, overseas exchange seems to be the norm. She'll be touring parts of Europe even before I do!!!!!!! Paris, Spain, London etc.. ggggrrhhhh... But I'm happy for her.

There are lots of good qualities in my sister and there's nothing more I can ask for... She's sensible, holy, filial, sensitive and caring... She's silly in a cute way, yet intelligent in a whole lot more. She's always obliging as whenever I need help in tallying marks or counting words for the summary section, she'll stay up with me till it's done (oooh... come to think of it.. who's gonna help me count the Mid-yr exam summary word count now... Hmm.. must search for alternatives.. keke)

At the airport just now...

When we were at the airport, I saw many people sending their loved ones off.. Kisses, hugs, handshakes... and in the midst of all the partings... I remembered Love Actually... A movie that meant a lot to me.... A movie that starts and ends with the various scenes at the arrival and departure halls of an airport... scenes of love, friendship and kinship... love that actually exists, love that actually lasts......

A flood of emotions overcame me. Didn't think I'll miss her that much. After all, she'll be back soon...

But after sharing the same room with her for so many years, sharing clothes and accessories since we started buying our own and sharing thoughts about everything under the sun, moon, stars, rainbows, I can't help but miss her even though it'll be just for 6 months.

Before she left... I gave her a tight hug.. told her to have fun, take care, and I'll miss you (and in my mind..don't take drugs.. afterall it's legal to take Marijuana in Amsterdam.. ) And then I sms her.. Love Ya..

We almost teared... silly...

As I walked away from the airport, I remembered how important kinship is. While many people agree with that, many too fail to show their love to their family members, keeping to themselves their real feelings perhaps due to shyness, or lack of communication or sometimes because we Asians are not used to showing our love for each other openly.

Sometimes, we may even have negative feelings towards the very people whom we should be loving...

Hence, when a child told me today that she HATES her mother.... I was shocked.. I may not know the full story .. she tried telling me.. nevertheless I told her this...

"You may be angry with your mother... but you can't HATE your mother..
Your mother may be loving you in a way that you are not used to, but you can't HATE your mother..
Your mother may be controlling you and you can't stand it... but still you can't HATE your mother..
And after all that she has done for you... do your think you can hate your mother?

Hate is too strong a word.... Don't say that especially deep down you know you don't mean it... "

She didn't respond.. but the tears in her eyes gave me the answers....

Every family is different. There are some families where the members can love each other without hope and agenda..without judgement and prejudices. They will always be there for one another. However, there are some families that are having more struggles than others but when that is the case, we cannot give up on building or repairing the relationships within the family....

After all, Love Actually exists in all families if we all try. Love Actually exists.... period.

Goodbye.. my Hello Kitty... See you in July.. the 7th month...

Feedforward...

2006-12-21T21:09:00.000+08:00

"Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. But now he has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation-- if you continue in your faith, established and firm, not moved from the hope held out in the gospel. This is the gospel that you heard and that has been proclaimed to every creature under heaven, and of which I, Paul, have become a servant." — Colossians 1:21

Hmm I've never blogged about meetings.. but today, I learnt something useful during one.... Something that i ought to use especially for 2007, a significant year.

The idea is simple.

We can change the future. We can't change the past. So in a way, feedforward helps people envision and focus on a positive future, not a failed past. How wonderful..

So, how do we give feedforward (as opposed to giving feedback)????
Just follow the four rules:

Rule #1) Let go of the past (Hmm.. easier said than done, huh?)
Rule #2) Listen to suggestions without judgement
Rule #3) Learn as much as you can
Rule #4) Help as much as you can

To view the clip by Marshall Goldsmith on the idea of feedforward.. click here

PS: Btw, this Marshall guy really looks like Doc (Christopher Lloyd) in Back to the Future.. (how apt)

CORINNE BAILEY RAE "Put Your Records On"

Three little birds, sat on my window

And they told me I don't need to worry

Summer came like cinnamon so sweet

Little girls double-dutch on the concrete

Maybe sometimes, we've got it wrong,but it's alright
The more things seem to change, the more they stay the same
Oh, don't you hesitate.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans
I hope you get your dreams
Just go ahead, let your hair down
You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow

Blue as the sky, sunburnt and lonely
Sipping tea in the bar by the roadside (just relax, just relax)
Don't you let those other boys fool you
Got to love that afro hair do.

Maybe sometimes, we feel afraid, but it's alright
The more you stay the same, the more they seem to change
Don't you think it's strange?

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans
I hope you get your dreams
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.'
Twas more than I could take, pity for pity's sake
Some nights kept me awake, I thought that I was stronger
When you gonna realise, that you don't even have to try any longer?
Do what you want to.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

Oh, you're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow

Have hope... Life just gets better..... :p

Naturally Nepal...

2006-12-13T13:41:00.000+08:00

Naturally Nepal is their tourism slogan...

Indeed, the feeling of being close to nature gave me a sense of calm and peace that I wish I could prolong that experience. The insignificance I felt in front of the mountains, the valleys, the rivers, the rapids, the sun and the cold elements (coldest was 2 deg C)... reminded me of my frailties but some of them also gave me hope and strength to push on..

The initial plan of trekking to Poon Hill for four turned out to be a solo trek due to unforeseen circumstances... My 3 travel mates went back to Pokhara after the first day of trek....but I just had to go through it...I felt bad not accompanying them back and they were worried for my safety.. But what the heck.. it was a journey I set out to experience. And so, I ignored the risk of going on a trek in the wilderness alone with two strangers.. my guide and my porter.. and made my loved ones at home worry. But never did I regret this trek.. In fact, I was in a way, glad I did it alone..

While I thought the highlight was the sunrise at Poon Hill.. the actual experiences I enjoyed most were the interactions with the Nepalis during the trek. Each day, without any Singaporean/tourist, I had the chance to really mingle with the villagers.. I had to learn basic Nepali language.. They really taught me about Nepal and the struggles of its people. Despite it all, the warmth and humility of the villagers really touched me. They really made me consider retiring there.. but I know it's just a fleeting thought..

This journey also taught me the value of education. Seeing my porter, Sayaman, an 18 yr old school drop-out (due to poverty), being so earnest in learning Maths and English, really warmed my heart.. a teacher's heart. On some nights, with no electricity but just candles, we'll do maths. He found it hard but was so keen on trying.. In the mornings, we'll do a bit of reading and conversational English. At the end of the trek, I was glad that he'll be going back to school to continue with his education. All he needed was about 10 000 rupees.. about only S$230.. which he'll take forever to earn.. But despite his state, his willingness to learn is the kind of spirit and passion that I've not seen for quite some time. I really hope to see it again in the padawans back here...

My days in Nepal without any handphone, internet, television, electricity... taught me about a world that's beyong my comfort zone and yet it is not one of the poorest countries in the world..it taught me that simplicity is perhaps the best.... it taught me a lot of myself as well, my limitations, my passion and hopes... The trek was a much anticipated one which I ended up embarking on my own... I saw a sunrise which led me to tears... I met people who made me not want to leave the villages.... I fell in love with Nepal.. but I know I must come home.. I must embrace what is to come..

And so, I'll hold the moments close to my heart... and leave with memories which I'll cherish forever....

Dhanya wad Nepal.... See you in 10 yrs time....

Dream home...

2006-11-21T05:01:00.000+08:00

It used to be a dream home.. now it is really a dream...

Going once... Going twice.... SOLD!

7yrs 10mths 20 days..

Sunrise on Poon Hill...

2006-11-20T01:58:00.000+08:00

Each morning dozens of trekkers wake up at 5am to begin the thousand-foot climb from Ghorepani (9,500') to the summit of Poon Hill (10,531'). They make this pilgrimmage in the dark in order to witness one of the most spectacular scenes in the Himalayas (or the planet for that matter)...sunrise on Poon Hill. From this perch, you can watch as the sun's first rays light up the entire Annapurna range and then light up the imposing face of Dhaulagiri across the Kali Gandaki valley. It is well worth the climb...

5 more days and I'll be flying to Nepal. The ticket there is confirmed but not the return.. so I'm not sure when I'll be back.. hopefully never. But on this pilgrimmage, I hope I can make it to Poon Hill and witness the sunrise with my very own eyes.. Too many worldly things have been clouding my mind that it's about time I get in touch with God's natural gifts and relish it's beauty along with the cleansing of the soul...

And if I can make it to see the sunrise... It'll be forever captured in my memories.. and perhaps flood me with many more from the past...

You are my forever love
by Emily Matthews

I'll always remember our first days together
- those magical times when our love was so new -

I remember the wonder we felt in our closeness
the passion and joy I discovered with you...

Somehow it seemed we were meant for each other
you made me feel cherished, complete, understood.

And I knew if I walked by your side through the future
I'd always be happy and life would be good...

Time has brought change to the world that we share,
But the sweet, simple truth that I knew from the start
is timeless and changeless forever and ever -

I need you and love you with all of my heart.

The Power of Singlish.. Dun say I Neber warn you ah...

2006-11-09T21:29:00.000+08:00

See lah.. Speak so much Singlish until our Ang Moh friend here also speak de Engrish until beri de Singlish and de broken.. even more powderful than some of us ah..

Want hear Ang Moh speak singlish?? Check this out... (Interview)*

Please... listen with a pinch of salt.. and even if you do speak Singlish for fun, you have to learn the basics and know when to code switch to standard English... like what I'm doing right now... : )

Dun spoil ur Engrish ah..even if ur EL exam is over...

For those who have completed the EL 'O' level paper.. Hooray!!!!... May all your DREAMS come true!!! I hope nobody wrote in the conclusion... I woke up and realised it was all a dream. (Faintz)

Hey! I spotted DREAMS didn't I?.. haha.. it's in the 100 word list of one-word questions and after soooooo many years.. REPORT finally came out.

*Source: wwww.mrbrown.com

End of the school term!! Now for some feedback...

2006-10-27T16:59:00.000+08:00

Time flies.... the school term for 2006 has ended even before you know it..

I thought it'll be a difficult year but by some form of grace, I managed to maintain my sanity... so much so that even I'm impressed with myself.. haha narcissist in the making...

Anyway, I managed to get two of my classes to give me feedback on my teaching and how they see me as a person.. It was kinda heart-warming knowing that students recall and remember the things that were said to them and the lessons that were prepared for them.. as for the not-so-good comments, I'm glad they were forthcoming to tell me where I need to work on as I know there'll always be room for improvement.. so I'll work on them.. even though I really didn't know I was 'naggy'.. Crap.. am I really getting old?

Feedback is always critical for those who serve others... it's only with that can we serve better..

While the feedback I received were pretty much safe, prim and proper... some educator in S'pore received feedback that's rather stimulating.. oohh.. naughty.. hmmm... enjoy...

So you think you can dance???

2006-10-16T22:59:00.000+08:00

I'm staying in on Monday nights!!!! Wait a minute.. don't I always??.. grrhhh.. (ok.. gotta quit being lame since my 'most trusted' padawan openly declared me as one... double grrrhhh)

Well, the reason for staying in on Monday nights is this:
So You Think You Can Dance 2???
(Though my Grey Anatomy Season 2 will end tonight... sob sob.. why must Danny die???!!!)

Anyway, I was almost gawking at the dance moves of the contestents.... their calibre and standards were amazing even though they are not good enough to be in the finals. Their execution, fluidity, pace, emotions and versatility just left me totally envious.. totally stunned... totally itching to dance.. And the TV show's FREE!!!

To think I paid $27 last week to watch Overdrive, a Hip Hop Dance Finals @ The Esplande Concert Hall.. What can I say... Our Singaporean finalists' standards are nowhere near the top 40 of SYTYCD2. Wade Robson Celebrity dance choreographer, producer of MTV's popular The Wade Robson Project, was the guest judge. And the only dance performance I thoroughly enjoyed was his. When it came to the final two contestents and two groups, there was a spar between the two finalists from both categories. Wade Robson would choreograph something on the spot and the final two would learn and perform... So how did the contestants fare... Oh well... did I say that the contestents were nowhere near the top 40 contestants of SYTYCD2??? Guess you can imagine what happened.. So when it came to the decision making.. Wade Robson, being nice and all, said it's a difficult decision.. I was like.. "Yup.. cos all CMI!!!"

Ok ok.. perhaps, I'm being too critical... as always with Asians.. Singaporeans in particular.. Hey.. shouldn't I be proud that the dance scene in Singapore is gaining popularity in recent times. And to think that even our 'upperty up' Esplanade concert hall was transformed into a Club-like scene (see pic) for this Hip Hop dance competition.. Hmmm.. Yup.. too critical.. But seriously, I find that such dance competitions will eventually take away the joy of dancing and rob its purity.. as with every other competition that is televised. Talent scouting it may seem but I think the producers aim to create entertainment as people like to be entertained by those who can't sing or dance as well. Sigh..

Anyway... all I'm left with after watching the show are my memories of Dance Sync.. which has sadly disbanded... And the only kind of dance I'll be doing now is perhaps the Juggling of my work admist other matters.... and at the rate I'm gg.. maybe Jelly Belly dancing....

During the credits of tonight's show.. a familar tune came up... something I heard often over the radio, whenI was in my teens..

Ooh... child, things are going to get easier...
Ooh... child, things are going to get brighter...

and it keeps repeating itself... Let's all hope that things are going to get easier and brighter...

Oh.. side tracked there for awhile.. back to my main topic...

So you think you can dance??... How I wish I can dance and perform at VT again...

Fun Shot

2006-10-09T23:52:00.000+08:00

Graduation day...

2006-10-08T04:04:00.000+08:00

My dear padawans... on this day you 'graduate' but the journey has not ended.. you have to study hard and smart for your 'O' levels... and even after that... your journey will not end...

I wanted to share this with you all.. but thought it'll 'over run' as "You are the man' often says..
Hence, I shall put in writing so that it becomes more permanent...
It may be a bit 'chim' for some but I hope you will understand it at some point in your life...
and may your very flesh be a great poem..

Enjoy this by the great poet, Walt Whitman...

This is what you shall do:
Love the earth and sun and the animals,
despise riches, give alms to every one that asks,
stand up for the stupid and crazy,
devote your income and labor to others,
hate tyrants, argue not concerning God,
have patience and indulgence toward people,
take off your hat to nothing known or unknown
or to any man or number of men,
go freely with powerful uneducated persons
and with the young and with the mothers of families,
read these leaves in the open air every season of every year of your life,
re-examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book,
dismiss whatever insults your own soul,
and your very flesh shall be a great poem...

from the Preface to Leaves of Grass

by Walt Whitman

Meanwhile.. for something more fun and palatable... here are the pics... The rest will be burnt into a CD for you..

1) Our very own Prince Charming...

2) Thousand legged worm... 'Bang Bang'

3) Photo time..

4) And they just had to 'tekan' their teachers on their last day...

5) The most fun class

6) The Bloom at West Coast Park... Our bloom... the padawans...

7) Hmmm.. what to order... ?? After Graduation Day, we headed to a cafe at Bishan Park to 'celebrate'. The haze was bad, the park was packed, the food took forever.. but the company was good...

8) Where's my food??

9) Is this an irony?? Bird acting cool while drinking hot tom yum soup...

10) At the end of the day, will this batch of 2006 be tough enough to brave what is to come? Will they be able to continue this friendship that they have forged? Is it gonna be too tough for them??? ..... What will their response be?

Piece of cake.... :P

God Bless...

A la folie pas du tout...

2006-09-06T21:33:00.000+08:00

Bien que mon amour soit fou, ma raison calme les trop vives douleurs de mon coeur en lui disant de patienter, et d'espérer toujours...

Sidenote:
The above quote was taken from a movie A la folie pas du tout (Direct translation: With all the Madness) , which I just watched. It's a depressing movie... freakish even.. makes you wary of the people around you.. But I bought the DVD anyway since it has Audrey Tatou in it... Eversince Amelie, I love watching her movie be it French or English..

Actually, I took French for a semester in Uni. Since then it's hardly used, other than "Je ne sais pas" (I don't know) which comes in pretty handy when my French teacher asked me questions back then... haha... I ought to pick it up again... But I don't know anyone else who speaks fluent French... So now when I watch French movies, I can only pick up a few words... and when I read French text, it's like recognising some words here and there, and then trying to piece them together to figure out the meaning... exhausting....

Nevertheless, I'm still fascinated with France and the French culture... I imagine myself walking along the streets, sitting by the cafe reading a book, then again.. feeling odd cos there'll be so few Chinese there.. (I think)... One day, I'll get there.. I just hope that it's not overhyped and end up being disappointed.... and hopefully by then, I can speak more French other than Je ne sais pas....

Pic taken fr : nedgusnod1

JK, the Fish Out of Water

2006-09-04T23:01:00.000+08:00

My Favourite CHARACTER in Chicken little has got to be FISH OUT OF WATER... Simply because it's adorable.. it's quiet hence less annoying.. and it's also adventurous... (a little like me)
Imagine a fish getting out of his comfort zone.. i.e. water... and exposing himself to the harsh environment.. that takes courage, a positive attitude and a whole lot of support from family and friends..

And this reminds me of a little fella I know....

By now, we would all know that JK is OUT OF Singapore Idol.. (pardon the pun) Imagine.. Top 5... and ending with positive comments from all 4 judges, a refreshing change...." a dignified exit" so they say..

This little 'fish' is someone that I'm proud of....

Simply because he has been through so much, got a taste of the harsh reality of showbiz and yet able to hold himself in a positive manner, persevere on and stay true to himself. Not forgetting, his humility and gratefulness to the people who are always there to support him.

That's character. Despite the weaknesses that we all have, there's always something great inside us. Sometimes, it'll show through our daily acts. Sometimes, it'll show when we are tested and facing adversities. But we all know there's something great in each one of us. We just need to realise it and at the same time see that greatness in others too. With enough polish and guidance, and a good character, we will reach that greatness.

A lot of the padawans I know have this greatness but they have yet to realise that or rather, by their inhibitions or peer pressure, they refuse to let it shine through. Such a pity. But one day, be it in Simpleville or after they have graduated, I hope the true greatness will shine through....

... so evident that it just makes the people who know them proud
... so evident that when thrown in the harsh environment, they'll not lose themselves and pull through
... so evident that when we see that character in the future we will know that the 'training' at Simpleville has not gone to waste..

So for all those fishes who are still in the aquarium, think of the day you'll be out of the water..
What kind of character do you want to be and what kind of greatness can you achieve?

For those who are already FISH OUT OF WATER, continue to strive on cos the trials and burdens will be there but always remember to stay positive and enjoy life with your family and friends...

Go Joakim...

(PS: It never occur to me that J and K are side by side on the keyboard.. the little things that we take for granted in life.. )

And the award goes to....

2006-09-03T09:36:00.000+08:00

HEY! Just realised that there's a grammatical error in the award... Student Councillors of 2007... Pls take note...

As a follow up to last year's entry (click here), here's an update:

2002..... Most Feminine Teacher Award
2003..... Best Smile Teacher Award
2004..... Best Looker Teacher Award (there was a shortage of Chio teachers then)
2005..... Most Sisterly Teacher Award
2006..... Most Sisterly Teacher Award
2007..... ?????????????????????????????

I would like to congratulate my fellow Jedi Masters for their awards as well...

Most Stylish (male) -- Master Kungfu Hamster (p.s. Stylish is not the same as Stylo)
Most Stylish (female) -- Master Char Mee
Most Spontaneous (male) -- Master Chocoindryice
Most Spontaneous (female) -- Master Twenty Eight
Most Humorous (male) -- Master Spongebox Square Pants (no doubt about it)
Most Humorous (female) -- Master Tallie
Most Fatherly -- Master Humpty Dumpty
Most Motherly -- Master Lenny
Most Brotherly -- Master Owen
Most Sporty(male) -- Master Spiker
Most Sporty (female) -- Master Pretty

Now I remember... I'm still learning....

2006-08-31T22:57:00.000+08:00

Today ... I was at a low...

What I heard and saw made me question my purpose...

But thanks to these angels below, Brian, BB and Joakim... I remembered...

Thanks for remembering... Thanks for helping me remember...

"It goes on one at a time, it starts when you care to act, it starts when you do it again after they said 'no', it starts when you say 'We' and know who you mean, and each day you mean one more."

- Marge Piercy, "The LOW ROAD"

Undoing all the good that was done...?

2006-08-27T12:27:00.000+08:00

New 4D number... if only the number 1 was replaced by 7... keke.. then it'll be my special number...

While most Jedis and padawans were asleep this morning in their nice and comfortable beds.. 11 Simplevillians.. woke up at ard 5--6am to get ready for the run..

I was so sure my timing this year would be much worse than the last.

For one, my pacer for last year, "Master Pretty", did not take part in this run. No one was there to push me.... Weak.. I don't have the determination to do things on my own, as always I'm over-reliant on others...

Secondly, I exercised less this yr (no more dance concerts to train for) and after the recent health check.. I realised I gained weight again!!! Crap...

True enough... my timing for the 6km run was slightly under 1hr.. that's pathetic... I think last year's was either 45 or 50 mins..

Nevertheless, effort and sacrifices were put in and made...

Effort made to wake up much earlier... (even earlier than normal school days..)
Effort made in running (plus walking in my case)
Sacrificed my two big toenails.. (improper footwear n running method caused blue black on my toes.. they'll most probably drop off again.. )
Sacrificed my time which could have been spent setting 'killer' papers for my padawans...
Sacrificed by being drenched in the rain...it felt like some sort of cleansing, rather refreshing (It rained at my last 1km.. and I was soaked - hopefully, the flu vaccine which was 'mercilessly' jabbed into me this week will be in effect...)

The exercise was good.. and I felt that something was achieved...at least some calories were burnt... but then..... I had to undo it all by eating Prata with cheese and sausage + Egg Prata + Teh Tarik.. with the other Jedis.. to the effect that I may have gained more calories than I burnt... then I questioned myself why bother running in the first place.....

It just takes one or two characters to undo all the effort and sacrifices that have been put in and made.... In my case, they were the 'pratas' and the 'teh tarik'.

In a similar fashion, we realise that it takes one or two characters to undo all the good that had been done to maintain some sort of peace and equilibrum that we have all enjoyed and to undo all the efforts made to re-establish ourselves via the improvements made over the years...

And when that damage is done, very few would consider the progress that have been made over the years and most would just remember the bad, because it's the end result that is there for all to see.... Unfair, isn't it?

But do we surrender? Do we give up? Do we beat ourselves because we think we have failed?

No, I think not... in fact.. I think we need to fight even more (please ah... figuratively not literally)... we need to redeem ourselves as a WHOLE.. including all the 'prata' culprits...

And that's precisely why, I'm looking forward to the next challenges...

2.4 km test run on ACES Day 31 Aug
6km Public Service Quarter Marathon on 9 Sept....

Finally the Oral Exams period is over....

2006-08-25T00:03:00.000+08:00

5th year running.... but this is the worst ever... not so much due to the candidates but due to the fact that I've been going back to school on most evenings after the Oral exams to finish up my work.....

In 2005, I had the time to write 8 entries on this event... Gone were those days....

So I shall just consolidate the 'best' moments @ MorningGlory in one entry...

Here goes:

#1 Always think before you say anything about your examiners...

ExaminerA: What is fashion to you?

Candidate: ......... blah blah blah..... I think it's better to wear bright coloured clothes. Those who wear black or dark coloured clothes are usually very dull and boring.

Examiners A&B: (Turn to each other and realised that both were in black, then face the candidate)

Examiner B: So are you trying to say that we are dull and boring since we are both wearing black.

Candiadate: Erm.. No .. Erm... I mean SOME... people who wear black are boring. (sheepish grin)

Examiners A&B minds: GRRRHHHHHHHH.....

#2 Do not mispronounce words especially if they take on a new meaning when mispronounced.

Examiner A: How can the younger generation contribute to the society?

Candidate: The younger generation can provide free caning services at the old fox home.

Examiner A & B (Controlling controlling.. crap.. one couldn't control... started laughing... the other upon hearing the first examiner's laughter, laughed too...)

Candidate (looks confused.. wondering why these two examiners are laughing at him..afterall, what's wrong with providing free cleaning services at an old folks home.)

Examiner A's & B's Minds... (Students armed with canes, spanking the old foxes at the old folks homes...It's free after all )

#3 The many versions of pronounciation for BLACK LIMOUSINE

Version 1: Brack lee- mouse
Version 2: Black Lim - mou - sign
Version 3: Back Lim- moose - nee
Version 4: Brack Lim- Mo - Seng... ( sounded so much like Lim Bo Seng)

The ultimate version said by a 21 yr old candidate:
Version 5: Brack Lam Mo Zee Nee (Sounded so much like Lambourghini... wahahahahah...esp when she stressed the LAM)

#4 Do not crack your knuckles especially when your examiners have a compulsive behaviour of cracking theirs...

Not sure if this is the norm... but when one hears someone else cracking his knuckles, will there be an urge to do so too.... If this is so, why?

Candidate A: blah blah blah... crack crack... blah blah..

Examiner A (Listening to the candidate): Crack crack as well...

Examiner B (Listening and controlling... mind goes: don't crack don't crack...then Arrrghhh.. what the heck..) : Crack crack crack crack ... neck also crack.

#5 Weirdest response...

Examiner A: What is your view on fashion?

Candidate: Erm.. I think fashion is sex abuse.

Examiners: ??????????????????????????????????????????????

#6 Know your Prime Minister...

Examiner B: Do you think our society is taking care of the elderly well?

Private Candidate: Oh yes... according to our Prime Minister, Mr Lee Kuan Yew...

Examiner A (interupts): Mr Lee Kuan Yew is not our Prime Mnister anymore.. (smiles to put her at ease)

Private Candidate: Oh ya... I mean according to our Prime Minister, Mr Goh Chok Tong...

Examiner A & B (Simultaneously): NO IT"S NOT!

Private Candidate: Oh sorry, erm, so who is it now?

Examiner A: It's Mr Lee Hsien Loong.

Private Candidate: Oh ok.. erm..Our Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong said that..... er... sorry... what was your question again??? (Frowns frowns frowns...)