Let it go...
Let It Go
by Corrinne May
I think we've been here before
I recognize this place
I've seen the marks of confusion
wipe out a single sign of grace
And I don't want to play anymore
Not when the stakes are so high
So before we circle round once more
I'm gonna lay down,
Lay down my pride
Let it go, let it be
Don't waste all your emotion on this
tit-for-tat machine
Let it go, let it be
Let it go
I turn on the TV
and it screams out at me
Nothing seems to have changed
since the start of Adam and Eve
So we're waiting for the sky to fall
and we're buying brand new toys
But before we circle round once more
Can we lay down
Just lay down this pride
Let it go, let it be
Don't waste all your emotion on this
tit-for-tat machine
Let it go, let it be
Let it go
Don't go wasting your emotions
No one wins if we keep score
Let it go, let it be
Let it go
I recognize this place
I've seen the marks of confusion
wipe out a single sign of grace
And I don't want to play anymore
Not when the stakes are so high
So before we circle round once more
I'm gonna lay down,
Lay down my pride
Let it go, let it be
Don't waste all your emotion on this
tit-for-tat machine
Let it go, let it be
Let it go
I turn on the TV
and it screams out at me
Nothing seems to have changed
since the start of Adam and Eve
So we're waiting for the sky to fall
and we're buying brand new toys
But before we circle round once more
Can we lay down
Just lay down this pride
Let it go, let it be
Don't waste all your emotion on this
tit-for-tat machine
Let it go, let it be
Let it go
Don't go wasting your emotions
No one wins if we keep score
Let it go, let it be
Let it go
(I think we've been here before...)
My legs are full of scars... they are mainly self-induced.
I have a problem of scratching any mosquito bites or itch or scabs till they bleed.
Also, whenever I have a scratch or scrap in the knee from dance practices, I would open up the scab before the wound could fully heal. That causes more damage to the wound and creates a darker colouration to the scar. This also explains why my BCG scar is bigger than most people's. I was told by the nurse not to touch it but I never listened. I kept 'checking' if it's healed and in so doing, had an infection which caused a bigger than usual BCG scar on my arm.
All along I wasn't really conscious about that problem of mine until I was told recently to stop creating more wounds to myself. Just let go of that urge. Don't think about it. Let it heal. Don't agitate the skin any further cos if I don’t let go of that thought or that urge to scratch, I’ll end up hurting myself.
Let go, huh? How?
I have a problem of scratching any mosquito bites or itch or scabs till they bleed.
Also, whenever I have a scratch or scrap in the knee from dance practices, I would open up the scab before the wound could fully heal. That causes more damage to the wound and creates a darker colouration to the scar. This also explains why my BCG scar is bigger than most people's. I was told by the nurse not to touch it but I never listened. I kept 'checking' if it's healed and in so doing, had an infection which caused a bigger than usual BCG scar on my arm.
All along I wasn't really conscious about that problem of mine until I was told recently to stop creating more wounds to myself. Just let go of that urge. Don't think about it. Let it heal. Don't agitate the skin any further cos if I don’t let go of that thought or that urge to scratch, I’ll end up hurting myself.
Let go, huh? How?
I've always had a problem with letting go. In fact, I seldom let go of things / memories / people etc. I let others do the letting go...
Today’s my one month anniversary of having my S.R.H.
She’s been serving me well, bringing me to all sorts of places to relive those moments at LPR, KRP, CV and EC, places I’ve stopped going because I didn’t have a car. And in a short span of 3 weeks, I hit my first 1000km.
As I look back at those times, I realised that while I have now changed, I still can’t let go.
There was a lot of self-doubt, the feeling of incompetence and being ostracised. That gradually changed as I started becoming more independent, not reacting to others' reactions, travelling to places that I’ve wanted to go, and yet, there’s a void. All because I can’t let go.
Was told that if I continue to hold on and dwell on the past, my present and future will be affected. I don’t wish that to happen. I fear I’ll be like Meredith Grey in Grey Anatomy, incapable of trusting anyone or even herself and eventually letting go of McDreamy.
As I look back at those times, I realised that while I have now changed, I still can’t let go.
There was a lot of self-doubt, the feeling of incompetence and being ostracised. That gradually changed as I started becoming more independent, not reacting to others' reactions, travelling to places that I’ve wanted to go, and yet, there’s a void. All because I can’t let go.
Was told that if I continue to hold on and dwell on the past, my present and future will be affected. I don’t wish that to happen. I fear I’ll be like Meredith Grey in Grey Anatomy, incapable of trusting anyone or even herself and eventually letting go of McDreamy.
I have to let it go... lay down my pride and not waste any emotion on this tit-for-tat machine. No one wins if we keep score
Let it go...
Let it be...
.
Like I always say, 'it's all in the mind'.
Like I always say, 'it's all in the mind'.
.
Let it go...
Labels: Corrinne May, Decisions, Resolutions, Song
posted by Master Cartwheeler @ 1:50 AM
1 comments
1 Comments:
Hmm…I may be wrong but from what you’ve written it sounds like you may have tendencies of a S personality type (as defined by the D.I.S.C. personality profiling system) since S people tend to hang on to pass experiences and find it hard to let them go.
But then I read how one psychologist pointed out that basically one can’t really forget what has happened since that’s the nature of memories. Then there’s another psychologist who pointed out that to try to not think about it would actually make you think more about it. Try this out...try telling yourself, “Don’t think about the pink elephant”, and see what happens. You'll likely find yourself thinking about that pink elephant than not!
I guess a better way would be not to try to “force” yourself to “forget” or “let go” but to let these memories come and then let them pass on. Someone once said, “You can’t help a bird flying over your head but you can certainly make sure it doesn’t build a nest on it!” The memories will fly pass again and again but focus on something else and they'll soon move on. Focus on them and they’ll build a home in your mind. Sure, it’s all in your mind but more specifically it's what you allow to linger on in your mind that matters and sometimes it helps to direct your focus on something else instead.
So what else can you focus on to take your mind away from those memories? Maybe dance? Your new car? Hmm…how about photography? Interestingly, I read recently how Traci Parks who was inundated by debts and facing the possibility of eventual blindness due to congenital degenerative myopia became really depressed and contemplated suicide until she discovered photography which turned her world around. Check out her website at www.miracleimages.com to see her work. So who knows maybe pursuing photography more intensely may help you too?
Ah but then there is Jesus…
p/s Anyway, a side thought about your Silent Vocals VI post…since 7 is your favourite number and dancing one of your passion, maybe you should seriously consider retiring for good only after doing Silent Vocals VII?
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