Deception is a powerful tool...

New number for 4D punters…. 1327… That’s my pathetic timing for today’s 2.4km run-test. Hmmm... the last time I had such a test was when I was in AlmightyVille. My timing then was around 12mins plus. Though my timing now at 13min 27s is not fantastic, I doubt that I can run a 2.4km under this timing, given the fact that I gained X kg over the past Y years... (where X <5, and Y > 5). (pls lor... a 40 plus year old lady out ran me by one minute!!!!)

Hence, I seriously doubt the credibility of the distance…we definitely didn't run 2.4km.... but then again... no one seems to believe me… Perhaps deception is the way to make one feel good. Such a powerful tool. To deceive and yet make oneself or others feel good….

So YEAH!!! I'm the 3rd fastest female ANT and 8th fastest in my colony!!!!!

Those confuse with the terms ANT and Colony can refer to earlier entries:

http://sevenyrslater.blogspot.com/2005/08/antz.html

http://sevenyrslater.blogspot.com/2005/08/7th-day-yeah-my-favourite-number.html

Hmmm...how else are we deceived and how do we deceive?

A delay in celebration is a way to do things differently…
Your timing is almost close to the Gold award criteria…
Run once more on Friday and you’ll get your Gold award…
MadCat doesn’t hate me
Everything’s all right
Everything in His time

Going full circle....

Who knew 22 would be the last? If I had known, would it be any different???

No warning was given. No preparation was made. Only wishful hopes that everything will be alright, that everything will happen in its time. And happen in its time it did....at 22:12 for 12m 37s on 26/8... brief, meaningful and filled with love.... yet it was not the way I envisioned it. And today, 27 August, a day so significant for me 11 years ago, will once again have meaning in my life. A day I begin my life anew.

Amazing how one can learn so much about the fragility of love, of faith, of life in such a short span of time. Amazing how one can share and gain so much, only to lose it all... Going one full circle perhaps but with new perspectives which I hope will only help me become the person God wants me to be.

Thank you for the experience.

It's time to face the truth.......................................

8... 9.... 10.... It's over

It's finally over! So what have I learnt from the last 3 days of oral exams? Here goes:

Day 8

As always, whenever the grandparents topic is set for the conversation segment, someone cries.. It seems that one usually doesn't treasure the time with someone alive until he or she dies. Sigh... something for me to reflect too.

Oh... If you see the word BEACH in your reading portion.... pronounce it properly.... Felt as if 12 candidates were hurling verbal abuse at me.... grrrrrr...

Day 9

Just found out some illegal activity going on in PhillyFellaVille. Exotic animals and insect trading going on there! Amazing how one can keep 2 tarantulas and 1 salamander only to let it out in some "secret" location in Woodlands... Watch out those staying in Woodlands for any exotic creatures!

Day 10 Finally!!!!!

After 3 weeks (3mths 2 wks) of giving oral exams, life goes back to normal. Yipee!?... Is normality a good thing even? So contradictory.. for the past few weeks I dread going for the oral exam and now that it's over, I wish it didn't end cos I'm not prepared to go back to my 'normal' life. Not at all, not when I've just got comfortable with my new 'life', not when everything in the past is still in a mess. Such contradition. You claim that you don't want something, yet when you lose it, you want it back cos you just can't let go. Complex? Strange?Lost? Don't be... cos I am.....

Nothing unsual, nothing strange Close to nothing at all
The same old scenario, the same old rain And there's no explosions here
Then something unusual, something strange
Comes from nothing at all
I saw a spaceship fly by your window... Did you see it disappear?
Amie come sit on my wall And read me the story of O
And tell it like you still believe...
That the end of the century brings a change for you and me.
Nothing unusual, nothing's changed Just a little older that's all
You know when you've found it that's something I've learned
'Cause you feel it when they take it away
Something unusual, something strange Comes from nothing at all
But I'm not a miracle... And you're not a saint
Just another soldier on the road to nowhere..............................

7th day! Yeah my favourite number!

Yet another week has gone by, but the oral examination is still not over. 3 more days to go. Then again, once it is over, it could also mean that I'll go back to my routine of slogging at my colony* til 7pm. A reasonable tradeoff? Hmmm...

*According to the dictionary, Colony is defined as:

A region politically controlled by a distant country; a dependency.
A group of people with the same interests concentrated in a particular area
The area occupied by such a group.
A group of people who have been institutionalized in a relatively remote area

Oh oh... shan't forget the lesson for the day:

Bandana is pronounced as BAN - DARE - NA

Scene 1: PhillyFellaVille's extremely cold hall

Examiner A: What do you think the girl on the right is thinking?

Cheena Boy: The girl on the right, wearing a bun-nana, is thinking .....

Examiner B: Sorry?? Could you repeat that?

Cheena Boy (thinking that his examiners are old & deaf decided to speak louder):

Orrh.... The girl on the right, wearing a BUN-NA-NA is thinking .....

Both examiners' minds:

NOT EQUALS TO

6th day....New lessons to be learnt.. so listen up!

Lesson 1: Always cap your bottle before approaching the examiners

Candidate number 5 ( a kancheong spider) fumbled as she placed the bottle on the floor beside the table. In her haste to start the exam, she accidentally hit the bottle and since it was not capped properly, the NEW water spilt all over the floor and onto MY bag!!!!! Grrrrrr.... luckily for her.. mine is a G2000 bag and not a Gucci bag... so all was forgiven. No marks deducted for clumsiness.

Lesson 2: Don't speak in vulgarities or it'll be a habit

Ah Beng walks over...... Starts to read the passage....... Sees the phrase "Starting the buzzer...." Read it as "Starting the BASTARD" ..... Ah Beng panicks..... remains poise but only for a split second........ Mumbles "SHIT" ..... Continues reading...... Fumbles with another word...... Mumbles "SHIT" ..........

I bet his mind was going "F&*$! *$^!~!#%^&^%*&&%^#&!@.........."


Lesson 3: The word 'AISLES' is one syllabus and sounds like ARLS

Here are the different ways PhillyFellaVillains pronounce AISLES:
Ulcers
I - cells
Is -le
Ace-lers
ice-les (as in LES-bian)

5th day as an Oral Examiner....

I'm half way there .... 5 more days to go and still it feels like eternity!!!!! Haha Just realised that as examiners, we get $30 a day and not $25 as I previously thought... no diff anyway...cos after deducting cab fares, it works out to be roughly $10 per hour for 2 1 /2 hrs of work. Master Kungfu Hamster please take over me next year..After four years of being an oral examiner, I think I deserve a break!

Catastrophe on the 4th day!

Some 'villes' are just tooooooooo rich....The weather outside was nice and cool and yet, the air conditoner in the huge hall was set at a super mega freezing temperature at PhillyFellaVille. Brain froze so no observation made today........ Luckily, my new partner doing relief was the 'no fuss / chop chop' kind, so we managed to finish by 4.45pm.

Hmmm so what's so catastrophic about that.. nothing! It's what's after the exams that freaked me out..... Went for dance practice as usual and saw my dance costumes for the first time!!! ARRRGHHHH... are they trying to save money on cloth or what??? Well can't do anything about that now, so the next thing I can do or rather I hope to do is to lose weight or rather fats fast!!! Can't imagine performing in the December concert with fats oozing out from all sides... grrrrrr... can't imagine dancing beside my 22" to 24" waist dancers.... I'll be like a hippo beside swans. Grrrrr.. Just check out how slim my other dancers are!!! Hmmm.... think for the sake of the entire aesthetic appeal of the concert, I should make a noble move and opt myself out... or perhaps just do a one time cartwheel stunt at the back of the stage..... sob sob...

Exercise... diet.... exercise.... diet..... exercise ..... diet..... exercise ...... diet.......

Urgent call for creative suggestions on "HOW TO LOSE FATS IN 4 MONTHS".... Please submit suggestions through ESSS!!! $1 per suggestion! If not just write them in the comments box.

$90 in my pocket and 7 more days to go!!!

It's the third day and I'm persevering, thanks to one of my school core values..... I observed a few more things on my 3rd day as an oral examiner at PhillyFellaVille.

Observation 1: Today's number of candidates pleading for leniency due to their cough/flu/sore throat has dropped to 3! Looks like they've discovered a special antidote over the weekend and the epidemic is now under control.

Observation 2: More is less! If your examiners ask you to stop talking, don't argue and force your way to say more because you'll frustrate the examiners even more with your nonsense and your marks just go down the spiral with your nonsensical descriptions!

Observation 3: 2288 looks like a good number today!!! (though none of the 4 numbers hit the lottery over the weekend! So, too bad for those who were stupid enough to buy any.)

Observation 4: Old impatient man makes good examiner partners! Despite him going to the loo (hmmm...maybe he read my blog..refer to previous posting point 1), we still managed to break the record to finish all candidates by 4.40pm! 3 candidates ahead of the other group! Yippie!!! Got to go home at 5pm, the earliest ever perhaps for this year.....

How to be a professional Oral Examiner

I am starting to think that other than the cold/flu/sore throat epidemic that they are having at PhillyFellaVille (see previous posting: point 5), they are also hit by the terrible sleeping virus.

As I was just 2 tables away from the infected ones, I was in grave danger of being hit by the sleeping virus. Fortunately, I managed to 'siam' it thanks to my strong immune system developed recently whilst at Simpleville (didn't get any virus fr jjb/hamster/choco despite close proximity.... muuuahhhh hahahahaha).

But, since not many examiners are as fortunate as I am, to develop such strong immune system against such deadly virus, I took it upon myself to help all future Oral Examiners to keep awake while assessing candiates during O level Oral exams.

Here's a list of the things you can do to keep you awake in order to maintain your professionalism to grade candidates fairly and effectively.

Ways to keep yourself awake while on duty as an Oral examiner

Disclaimer: The following set of instructions could cause you to lose your job. Master Cartwheeler shall not be responsible for any loss of income. All characters and names mentioned within this entry are fictitious and are not related in anyway with anybody living or dead or fictitious, and any similarities are coincidental.

1) Get your adrenaline pumping again by doing a 50 meters dash to the toilet and back in 1 ½ mins in between change of candidates. If you have my superpower cartwheeling abilities, you could try it to speed up the time but please do not try this at the expense of distracting the other candidates from another group. Remember..... maintain your professionalism you must!!!

2) Freak yourself out by telling yourself that the sudden music coming from your ipod (whilst on hold and in the switched off mode) is the result of some ghost lurking around especially since EL oral exams are held during the Hungry Ghost Festival.

3) Predict winning 4D numbers from students' IC.... most likely numbers to strike this weekend are... 7811, 0490, 4434, 2057.

4) Stare at the reverse osmosis water they provide, to look out for any brown living or dead organisms.
NOTE: Prolong staring will only lead you to memorise the following phrase (XXXwater is crystal clear drinking water produced by advanced water purification and membrane technologies).

5) Remain poise under sleepy conditions by SMILING (but not too much unless you are sure you are free from the evil "green-veggie-in-between-teeth" syndrome).

Things NOT to do during O Levels Oral Exams

Disclaimer: The following set of instructions will not guarantee you higher marks for your oral exams. Master Cartwheeler shall not be responsible for any loss of marks should you follow the advice.


Things NOT to do during O level Oral exam
1) Do not scratch your arm and leave your skin flakes on the table.

2) Do not try to hypnotize the examiners by shifting your eyes from one examiner to the other. (Left right left right left right…. @-@)

3) Do not try to impress the examiners by praising them

4) Do not distract the examiners by fiddling with your ear ring
(Unless you aim to impress your examiners by showing how much your ear ring can pass through your ear hole, please do not attempt to amaze them with your expandable ear hole talent)

5) Do not apologize to the examiners for having a cold or flu or sore throat (Especially when there are 5 other people in front of you who have already said that!!! I’m starting to think that there’s an epidemic in PhillyFellaVille too.)

6) Do not be arrogant:

Scene 1
Examiner B: Could you elaborate?

Arrogant gal: Elaborate for what? (Oh, pls imagine an Ah Lian face to go along with a “kiam pah” tone)

Examiner B (mind): Grrrrrr….Smile Smile….. Remain poise under stressful situations…

Examiner A (mind): How many marks can we deduct her for arrogance? (fumbles through rubrics… grrrr no such criteria)

Scene 2 (same gal)
Examiner B: Could you tell me what the girl on the right hand side of the picture is thinking?

Arrogant gal: Which wan? U mean the one I can see or the wan I can’t?

Examiner B (mind): Siao ah! Why would I want to ask you about the pair of feet at the corner of the picture? But nevermind, be professional….. ….Smile Smile….. Remain poise under stressful situations…

7) Do not try to convince the examiners only to confuse them and in the end confuse yourself.

Confused student:
I think that ………(Blah Blah Blah Blah)……………………(Blah Blah Blah Bah)…………………………… (for about 1 min)………………………………………Errrr… Actually I don’t know what I’m saying .

Confuse student (Mind): Smile Smile…. Remain poise under stressful situations


Lastly but most crucial piece of advice (for examiners only):

8) Do not go for an oral exam with a piece of green veggie stuck to your teeth only to realise it at the end of the exam!!! Darn and I thought that smiling could keep the students calm. Grrrrr… what a loser examiner!!!


Oh btw who’s the top student for the day? A non-Singaporean. Hats off to foreign talent!!!


Do stay tune for more tips on how to excel for O levels Oral. (9 more to be exact!!!)

Double Happiness

What's in a name? A rose by any other name, is still a rose.

adam del pete edwin anne diane lynn ethan phil aggie duane aaron enya cybil trevor kelvin yvette utt anthony melvin adrian linda actor annie vicky othello lenny ellen tim tom ethel heather phylis athena ignatius andrew gina utt utt demi agnetta ervin jordan effie ete yolinda anderson emma imran amy charlie elmo candice scott jimmy oglio hanz uma dylan alan apple amie dinah oscar alina elvin kathy uhu ethel irene penny scott annie todd scott dean sharon strider eddie ben craig wendy ethel anne fenni tim jenny omah kim ethel utt usher tristan cindy effendy sean sharon ethan dylan edwin jordan alina kelly amie sean sharon ethan esther scott ricky tristan lynn alvin melvin sharon utt oscar rudi afonsa gordan sharon ethel yoges abigal ursula hossan afro sharon scurry cuba emma rosalind estelle atrina anne catherine peter amy utt linda cyrena alvin euan arwen ethan effie alvin ted usher cybil amy ada bervin lynn jovin ajc anne pete alina pat dion scott kevin eponine oscar sean anne joe jessea amy dom oscar sharon ethel dion gwen ethel tristan jen scott anne todd scott amy scott todd ethel aggie anne lindsey todd agnes effie jordan emma dan jean trisha adam dylan emma adele sean usher linda alina mandy keith brian dion cybil rachel adelina rose ethel

Yet another undecipherable code just to express my happiness....

Happiness is...

......... simply incomprehensible but perfectly understood...

parjl shhjis khmrr tiddkdd pobli loisp hwys bingggd kiwsp skilssc pbgba tippsx jecuip mxned plvjug cvves hinoside aswwd udcgr sfv sepf bwdsqqw lkg vertyyd sdcmj qiozpsb yul uidss dkayr xodi ddc anndqp tibpp hsgji yiquy firrd dtfku odsiios vjcuirt xieor tbcfik wdfies dtputy nnwwi gyhiop ioddjs fimtu mix tuwoa cvtwp reujiol aqiosa psghas hahah rfrjy bohboh dtfhyy hmmm dqrk lipsq yifits edpesp tfciuyt muahw dtk kok uuy luaok diltu ditto lvg okie ujjhys arghh tymji ksios twtat kiose euc. Horre uoq jieet tss lopss yua nio ddf detth toz horrr doccfj xcdde guymb nope taser dokie iirlo haizz drg qicke hudf findlor srs qquis jkji nonono srdcb stopstop psgkf grghh fupi kekek hoctry gogog ryutu arghh tem tan tipou lim itii siah sjq duh trqmnl huh sasgt jialat era weet wtfet skysky icq blueblue eyuy redred rncet flagflag sgch ruitau wiri enfik mokea out atmry sky rkkta reach euc for halt the errr lorpot cnqn. Join atn nolah hic gdoo jfpttqa luk etdyj sole rscut ari smats sumi tyrplo desu dfj yanw njslo poo hay oioioi juw huhulor agjlo plios gkwlk.

ANTZ!!!

Saw this group of ingenious ants trying to get across a gap between two sides of a slightly opened gate. I knew ants and bees are the most cooperative creatures but to see the ants do a live "Outward Bound School (OBS)" style manoeuvre is quite interesting. Notice, to get to the other side, one 'macho / gungho' ant had to do a back flip to bridge the gap while the rest were all waiting in anticipation to get across to the other side. Next to ensure that EVERYONE (I mean ANT) gets across, they stack up and form a bridge, allowing the rest to step on them just to get across to their destination, their goal.

Why can't we humans work like that??? The answer is very simple.... ANTZ are simple creatures, humans are not... In fact, we are such complex creatures that its never easy to fully comprehend what's going on in our own minds. Let's not even talk about others. Why can't we help each other towards a common goal? Why can't we stand by our 'colony' no matter what?

Fear to take the first step, ego, differing goals, tiredness, helplessness, others' perception of us, procrastination, timing all play a part. With all these hindering us, how can we move on, how can we close the gap, how can we make sure that everyone is not left behind?

To move forward, it's about letting go... To take a step forward, we've got to let go of our hind foot. The hardworking antz obviously understands this perfectly... to move every(ant) forward, ego, self, selfishness, have to be let go of... to let others step all over you, just so that every(ant) can advance. Timing must be perfect too, if not some human being may swing open the gate and all the antz might just come crashing to the ground and all their efforts would be wasted. If only humans can work like this too... letting go of self and doing things in perfect timing.

Again, the answer is SIMPLE, it lies in the fact that antz are SIMPLE and humans are COMPLEX creatures living in a COMPLEX world. The most elegant way of getting things done is usually the simple way. Humans are too complex a being. They are proud of this fact. And yet that's something humans will struggle to admit that it may be a weakness after all. Perhaps, that's why we are all encouraged to play chess rather than Tic-Tac-Toe. And to think that I raised my hand for Tic-Tac-Toe the other time... So am I simple or complex?

The magic number....7

7 Aug 2005... a day to remember... Why? So many things have happened on this day and ironically, its supposed to be a happy occasion for me... It's the day I was borned (ermm what's so happy about birthdays anyway). Usually, any person will take their date of birth as their FAVOURITE number cos its significant and easy to remember and the most it will go up to is 31. Nobody will say... "My favourite number is 9435". That explains why my favourite number is 7. Hence, my blog, my msn nick, my passwords (hmmm.. don't try to crack it), my hp number, have 7 in them.... Too many things around me are related to 7. Take for instance, 7 days in a week, 7 colours in a rainbow (ok, I know this is lame), been dancing for 7 years, my current dance concert is titled 'Qi', scored 7 As for my 'O's (haha), 7 years ago something happen, and 7 years later another occured, 7 years from now, something major may happen again... 7 people in my life that I'm affecting by my decisions. Grrrrr... not a pleasant entry but that's reality... Starting to wonder if seven is a good number to begin with... hmmm shall change my fav number to 456335....

Maybe jus some negative thoughts from realising I'm one year older... grrrr

Announcement!!! I've officially changed my occupation... I'm a Gurung Guni Woman

This is an official notice to inform all friends that "I'm not a teacher" anymore. I'm a Gurung Guni Woman (as termed by my fellow / ex-colleague). I specialise in collecting old newspapers, MOE circulars, past years' students' exam scripts, project files (up to 2 years), textbooks, assessment books, photographs, plastic bags, paper bags, styrofoam, shoe box, mounting board, earrings, ear sticks, necklace, bracelet, handphones (on a weekly basis), paint, CDs, diskettes, envelopes, rough papers, calenders etc.... Please help me in my new enterprise by generously depositing your used or unused materials at my work place. I will give a reasonable rate for the items brought in. You can locate me at workstation 54.

Announcement over...

Precious little ones...

It's been quite awhile since my last entry. I'm in a whirlwind now, and there's too much things to handle that I'm amazed how I'm still alive and standing. Was at the Sec 3 adv camp last wed & thurs. While the kids had their fun, I was making my first debut as a photographer taking photos for school events with a borrowed SLR (what a stupid move.. a sure target for future arrows and a possibility of burning $3K should I spoil it). While the students were 'siam-ing' my camera, the kindergarten kids on excursion at Labrador Park were happily running towards me for a shot. Children make the most beautiful photographs. Their innocence, their smile, their openness, their curiosity, their awe at simple things are so precious that you just want to retain them and hope they'll never grow up. But.... there will never be this day. Kids grow and some mutate to scary species!!! And so it is, we can't stop them from growing, hence we can only retain that innocence, smile, openness, curiosity, awe... in a photograph...